Coping with the Aftermath of Divorce: Children

Laurie Childree By Laurie Childree, 16th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3j7lhhqr/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Divorce

My third marriage has ended in divorce. Now I am trying to cope and answer my child's questions.

September 2013

Little did I know that as the school year began in August my child would only attend for a month before we moved. It was not planned, in fact it was the result of my husband lying and causing trouble yet again.

The final straw came; I picked up my little girl from her crib along with the few items I had packed in haste. It would take another day for our escape to become final.

Six Months of Accomplishments

The first few weeks were rough, both of us suffered from being homesick. The questions were more than I could bear, tears tried to come to the surface every time I heard that sweet little voice say "I want to go home."

Fortunately for this part I had reinforcements. Questions were fielded by other adults when it was obvious that I was not in a place to cope.

My little girl had other children to play with, and I had a day job that more than paid the bills. We were adjusting, but she was having trouble at school; not academically but behaviorally. It was enough to break my heart fighting to get homework done in this strange environment.

We made progress but my nerves were a wreck.

A Little Outside Intervention

Therapy. My child had been in one form of therapy or another for years, now it was my turn.

The word "shell shock" was used to get me to understand. It seems that I had issues I had failed to realize and some mental health healing was in order.

A few dozen visits with the counselor and one consultation with the shrink come up with three separate diagnosis. Seems I had to work on myself in order to help my child cope. Medication was the first stop.

Another Move and More Questions

We moved at the end of those six months and stayed with acquaintances I had mistaken for friends while we waited for our apartment to become empty.

My little girl began to enjoy a little of bit of freedom by herself. She got a new bicycle to replace the one we left behind six months before.

Her questions switched to whether or not we were home or if we were going home. Now she says the first house, second house, camper, third house and last house. She still remembers the home she spent the first six years or so of her life in.

I do my best to answer her questions without confusing her. The autism makes the questions need translating but my heart does that automatically. She has asked about seeing her father. I do not tell her no, I say one day.

Lesson

Children should not be party to the negatives in a marriage. They should be protected, questions answered in simple forms they can understand easily.

Most of all love them through it all.

Tags

Children And Divorce, Divorce, Handicap Children And Divorce

Meet the author

author avatar Laurie Childree
I'm the single mother of an autistic child a published author. I have a wide range of topics that interest me including personal finance, writing, self employment and creative writing.

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Even normal life is hectic nowadays, then I can well imagine what you go through and how you deal with ever changing situations.

Children are innocent parties; some gain strength from adversity while others struggle to cope. While they can adjust to some extent, we should make them face realities slowly so that they too can move on.

I hope and pray that you can both find sustenance to look ahead with hope that the worst is behind you - siva

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author avatar Laurie Childree
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you. We believe the worst is behind us.

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author avatar Nancy Czerwinski
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you for sharing a very hard time in your life. I wish you the very best. Life can be very trying at times. Blessings to you.

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author avatar Laurie Childree
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Yes, it was a trying time, but we are both doing better now. Thank you. Blessings to you too.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Still married live apart but my child is aware that the father cheated on the mother and told him, gifts dont buy happiness but thank you for making me for without you I wouldnt have been born. My child was six years old when I did this and its a lesson for life.

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author avatar gaurachand
17th Oct 2015 (#)

it is very sad to know that you suffered it.

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
17th Oct 2015 (#)

So many people put the kids in the middle which is just wrong.

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
18th Oct 2015 (#)

It seems you handled this ourstandingly well, while coping with your own health issues. I too believe, the worst is behind you.

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author avatar Laurie Childree
18th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you Melissa

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author avatar Sandra Jason
13th Dec 2015 (#)


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Thank you
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26th Dec 2016 (#)

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9th Oct 2017 (#)

DIVORCE AND MARITAL BREAKTHROUGH

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21st Dec 2017 (#)

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