Cheating Men and the Other Woman: Why Men Cheat

Marcellus Alexander By Marcellus Alexander, 3rd May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

A lot of women want to blame The Other Woman when their man cheats. They want to fight her, call her, show up at her house screaming and crying, or slash tires. Hold up and get real! The only one responsible for your man cheating on you and breaking your heart is HIM.

Why Do You All Blame the Other Woman?

Saw a meme on a webpage and the woman that posted it was irate. The meme instructed men to "Never eff over a good woman for a temporary ##!W@". Her position was that we cheat only because women allow it. In her mind a man cannot eff over a good woman if the temporary heffas would back off and respect the girlfriend or wife.

I wanted to laugh but I could tell she was serious.

You ladies need to get real clear on this one thing right here - there is only one reason that a man will cheat on you, and that is because we want to! I am no angel, I've messed over women in my past before. And I did it in spite of the fact that she loved me, in spite of the fact I told her I loved her. I did it because ... well because I wanted to.

Women like her want to believe other women are going to help her keep her man in line and make him act right by denying him access. That's not their job, that's HIS job. Even his mother in his ear won't stop him from cheating if that's what he wants to do.

Why Do Men Cheat?

Women I've known always think there is a reason a man cheats like he got to be dissatisfied at home or he ain't getting it right or frequently enough or his woman is doing something wrong. Naw, it's not that. We might use that as an excuse so you feel guilty, but that's just game. What you do or don't do ain't the real reason we cheat.

When we cheat, it means we want to get at that other woman more than we care about you, your feelings, or our relationship. Right at that moment we don't care about anything but getting what we came to get. Has nothing to do with the chick at all really - she could be your best friend, or a co-worker, or some woman we met 30 minutes ago. Bottom line, it's not on her to make me come home to you and keep my stuff in my pants. That's my job.

You Can't Blame the Other Woman Because Real Men Don't Cheat

We lie. We lie because it works. We lie because telling you what we know you wanna hear will get us what we want. We lie cause we don't want to tell the truth. We lie just to see if we can get away with it sometimes.

Your dude is messing around on you with other women, you can bet he is lying his a$$ off. If the dude you are dealing with wants some tail besides yours, he is gonna get it by saying he feels things for her that he doesn't feel for you.

He might say y'all are breaking up and he is staying with a friend. He might say he is not married so he's single and free. He might say you are cheating on him and that's why he's out looking for a replacement. He will say whatever he thinks is gonna work on the woman he wants to get at.

That's why you can't blame some third party for what your man does. And if you know your man cheated and you stay with him anyway, expect to get smooth dogged out. He hurt you but there were no repercussions for it other than you talked a little smack. Now he knows he can do whatever he wants and you will still stay anyway. Don't be looking for respect from him cause it ain't coming.

Once he dropped his pants and got busy with some other woman, your relationship was over anyway. So stop hanging on and pretending like it was out of his control and somebody made him cheat.

Black men have to be held accountable for what they do and what they say. Don't let him cop a plea like he didn't know what happened, it was an accident, she seduced him, he was weak. Jam him up!

He is weak all right. Black women don't need no weak man that can't man up and be the man you need him to be. Stop covering for some punk dude and letting him give you weak excuses for lying and cheating.

Real men love their women. I would rather die than hurt my wife. Real men don't cheat.

Tags

Cheating, Cheating And Lying, Men Who Cheat, The Other Woman, Why Men Cheat

Meet the author

author avatar Marcellus Alexander
Oldest of five with three younger sisters, I've always watched out for black women with love and concern. Happily married father of two tired of the b.s. between black men and women.

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Comments

author avatar Lady Aiyanna
3rd May 2013 (#)

Well for a man to cheat the woman whom he is friendly with has to allow him to cheat.
I know I have fond closeness with many male friends and I never forget to engage their wives as that is how I keep the relationship clear as crystal.

Here is a fact the man is the Key and the Woman a Lock, if she allows every Key to turn the lock, she is defective and if the Key is able to turn any lock with ease, its a skeleton and its not right and illegal.

Both men and women need to have great respect for themselves first before trying to get into relationships with others and honestly when they have self deficiencies and blocks or even traumas, they end up falling prey to themselves and their deeds and succumbing to temptation.
Fact from my page: I am an attractive person and have had many males trying to come to ME but get turned away and quite dramatically might I add. If I were to encourage them to be with me as in physically, I would be doing them wrong and above all their families, which is why I chose to stay away from these friends and made my own life, my way with zero association with men despite being married and with child.
Ultimately Cheating is all about sex and lack of respect wrought with guilt and loss with lack of respect to the other person/family involved.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
3rd May 2013 (#)

Yes, real men don't cheat - I think it is a profound statement - siva

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author avatar Marcellus Alexander
3rd May 2013 (#)

Lady Alyanna, with all due respect you are confused. No woman "allows" a grown man to do anything. We do what we WANT to do. If I hit on you and you turned me down, so what? I am going to go on to the next one. Throw enough mud against the wall, eventually some will stick.

I did not limit my article to women a man was "friendly" with and just because I'm "friendly" with a woman doesn't mean she knows my real life situation. We lie. We lie all the time. We lie for no reason at all. We lie because it works. I don't need your encouragement or support to cheat on my woman if that's what I want to do. So what you don't want to do it? I will lie my way into some other woman's panties.

And cheating ain't about sex either. It's about power, control and a total sociopathic focus on self. Just like rape. Dudes cheating have plenty of sex at home - good sex. They ain't needy just greedy.

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author avatar Brighteye
4th May 2013 (#)

I believe you!

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author avatar Anjanette
23rd Jul 2013 (#)

What I tell someone that the mistreatment she suffered in her relationships is because she keeps "allowing" a man who doesn't treat her to stay in her life? Other than that, I agree 100%.

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author avatar Exodia
3rd May 2013 (#)

I see men are still providing details into why we do what we do while women are quietly taking notes and keeping their secrets among themselves. This ain't new and women know this already they just want affirmation. Gone are the days of the "Man Code" When it comes to women we feel like we just gotta save them from the bad man. I'm still waiting for that female tell all book..How to cheat on your man and he'll never know..LOL

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author avatar Brighteye
4th May 2013 (#)

Lol....mayb true too

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author avatar AnnH
4th May 2013 (#)

Where is the connection between a man cheating and a man raping a woman, I thought rape is treated as a sexual crime? Cheating is not about power, it is about sex and male ego, cheating for women is about getting even.

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author avatar Brighteye
4th May 2013 (#)

hmmm this too! Everyone has a valid point of view.....hard siding. I say just b honest from the get go and DO YOU! Stay single....

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author avatar Tee tee
27th Jul 2013 (#)

#my5p worth - Sure it is treated as such,imo it should be treated as a hate crime. It is not committed against another person because they couldn't resist or walked half naked or naked etc excuse infinite. Rape is about exerting power and taking wrongfully from another. By force in other words, wanting sex has little to do with it, to simply call it sex implies mutuality, and it is anything but mutual. I have friends who have been raped/molested, and it is one of the most devastating things done to a woman. Or man actually.

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author avatar Tee tee
27th Jul 2013 (#)

#my5p worth - Sure it is treated as such,imo it should be treated as a hate crime. It is not committed against another person because they couldn't resist or walked half naked or naked etc excuse infinite. Rape is about exerting power and taking wrongfully from another. By force in other words, wanting sex has little to do with it, to simply call it sex implies mutuality, and it is anything but mutual. I have friends who have been raped/molested, and it is one of the most devastating things done to a woman. Or man actually.

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author avatar rose leisure
11th May 2013 (#)

When my ex husband walked out on us, I blamed him. I left her out of it until she came directly to me telling me that she was just a friend and she would never sleep with him because she knew how that felt. She should have just kept her mouth shut because she had already begged him to leave me and his kids to be with her. I had no respect for either of them. He tried to come back and told me I had to move her in and take care of her. I laughed! He threw a fit, hit my walls, turned off the power to the house his kids lived in and tried to come take them from me. He seemed to forget that I came from abuse and intimidation no longer worked on me.

The point was that it took him to decide to cheat on a 10 year marriage. The women that I know of now knew about me, most were mutual "friends". She's getting hers now though. They got married and not even a year into it she found out he was cheating on her and is willing to let it continue.

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