Burn it down.

Matt Janak By Matt Janak, 3rd May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Divorce

What's it like to experience the pain of divorce, and what emotions are felt during the process. Not just from the two people involved, but from all sides.

Burn it down.

It would almost be easier if they died, your spouse that is, rather than have to go through a divorce. I mean, at least if they died you could have the solace that the last things you said to each other were loving words of kindness and caring. Much like ripping off a band aid, or cutting yourself so deep it doesn't bleed right away. But divorce is not like that. It's the slow, painful process of peeling off every layer of skin from the living being that was once your marriage. That's how it really is. If a marriage is alive then divorce is killing it slowly with four hands. There is no up side, no silver lining, no feeling of relief when it's over, just pain. When it's finally over you feel like a shell of your former self, a mask you have to put on because everyone expects you to be happy you're alone again. You once cared about the other person soooo much you would drive all night just to find the right color birthday gift to give them. Now, you won't even let them have the kids home an hour later because it might make them even the slightest bit happier. Kids? Oh don't worry kids, mommy and daddy are too immature to keep their stuff together so we're going to rip your lives apart from top to bottom because "we're just not happy anymore". Oh, well, by all means, mess with my head because you made a poor life choice, and make my siblings suffer too. Yes, that would be lovely. You know why people stay miserable in failed marriages for so long? Because it's better than ripping out your soul and standing in front of a mirror to see what's left. I'd rather be crawling trough life on my stomach than have to admit my failures as an adult and set fire to the world of my flesh and blood. MONDAY: Everything's fine. TUESDAY: Mommy and Daddy are getting divorced. WEDNESDAY: Oh, it's not my fault? Oh, well that makes it okay, I'll just be happy with seeing one of my parents every other weekend and how now I have to not only put all this in perspective to fit into my little world, but now I have four people who say they care about my feelings. THURSDAY: Not over it yet? Well the counselor says I should be by now and here are some pills to help. FRIDAY: Everything is back to normal, and I have adjusted to the new normal seamlessly, as have my siblings.

No idiot, it doesn't work that way. Divorce is the one aspect of marriage the gays never acknowledge. They don't seem to grasp what the other side of the coin brings when people can't admit their own shortcomings and have to take a sledgehammer to the lives of everyone around them. You know what they never show in movies or tv about divorce? Shame. The absolute shame of having to tell each and every one of your friends and family about how you messed up and married the "wrong" person. The shame of bringing it up at the right time, the right way, who you tell directly and who you let find out via the grapevine. The just plain old embarrassment of shoving your own failure into the face of everyone you know and hearing the obligatory feigned shock and sympathy from those around you. Divorce is a death, and must be mourned like one. The problem is, the murder was committed by two....


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Meet the author

author avatar Matt Janak
Army veteran, living in Texas, former aspiring comedian, current husband and step-father, lover of Star Wars, and hater of spider flatulence. My profile pic is from my book, Dark Part of the Mind.

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