Biblical Love Psychology II: The Attraction and its significance to Love

Funom MakamaStarred Page By Funom Makama, 18th Feb 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

From the first article in this series, we took our time to know the categories and stages of Love. Attraction is the first out of the two stages of Love and now we want to spend more time knowing what it is about, how relevant it is to Love and when we know we are engrossed in it.


Much has been said from the first series and you will miss a lot if you do not start from there, so i strongly suggest you take a look at the first episode before reading this for better comprehension. Click on this link: Biblical Love Psychology.

Why is it important to study and know what the attraction is about? We can be so clouded by what we see or what dragged us into knowing someone that we do not take our time to really know the person and then when things go wrong the first word which comes out of our "tongues of negativity" is Love! The attraction is definitely important because it is what brings about the first acquaintance. But does it just stop there?

What is the Attraction?

It is that phenomenon and the virtue which brings us closer to the person we care about or trying to care for. It is that magnetic factor which makes us want to establish a relationship, regardless of its type or magnitude. Take note of the phrase "makes us want to establish a relationship". It is not what establishes the relationship. Let's go further to know more about this phenomenon.

Features of the attraction
1. It is the first stage to Love. As we have seen in series I, asides the Agape Love, we cannot just love like that unless an attraction is established. The Storge Love which is the Familial Love has a link or attraction which is the "blood". Eros, has to do with sexual attraction which is usually physical, phileo is about friendship and we do not just make friends on the street. There must be something we see in individuals that makes us want to be friends with them. So, as a rule, the attraction is ALWAYS and MUST be the first step to Love. So, the attraction is good and of great importance.

2. The attraction is superficial and simply a mere feeling. Attraction is something we just feel and even if it goes deep into us, it acts mostly on Hormones. We feel a sudden great attraction for someone, even when we do not know them and we think we are already loving the person, It is just the hormones at work and sometimes when we take our time to get to know that person, it will surprise us to see how cold such an initial feeling has turned out to be. This feeling is so superficial and can be classified with other feelings such as Hunger, taste, anger etc.

3. From Point 2, we said the attraction is superficial and just like any other feeling, right? So, that is to say, if we are hungry, we eat food and get satisfied, hence the hunger disappears, likewise anger. We may be very angry and decide to take a walk on the beach side and then feel relieved. In other words, such superficial feelings are not permanent and can be remedied resulting to re-occurrence over and over again. Likewise Attraction, it can be exhibited several times in indefinite frequencies.

4. Point 3 leads us straight to this point which is: attraction never reaches the Heart. As we have said earlier it is just a mere feeling acting on Hormones.

More features of attraction

5. The product of attraction is usually physical expression. If a Man approaches two other men in which one is a friend and the other is just a Man, the way he will exchange pleasantries with each Men will show who is actually his friend and who is not. He will not only shake his friend, but give him a "buddy-hug" while the other will get just a hand shake. Even physical features as unique as a smile can be expressed in different ways to determine the people we love or are attracted to. But most importantly, the Eros perfectly suit this valid point: all the kissing, Romance, sex are products of Attraction (even in Love). I can have sex with my enemy, provided she meets my physical criteria and spark up an attraction in me for that particular moment. How? Make sure you read all the series of this topic!

6. Attraction is exhibited in various forms such as Lust, admiration, mere likeness, crush and could also be in great intensity-Obsession. All these are various forms of attraction and not Love. As we go on and get to know the features of Love, we will understand this particular point better.

7. Most interesting of all points: On a general note, Men feel and exhibit the attraction more than women. You don't believe this? Let me give you an example: Sit down 10 men and allow a naked or half-naked lady walk through their sight. What happens? 9 to 10 out of 10 will look twice in "sexual heat", 8-9 out of 10 will not stop looking at her until she is out of sight and 7-8 out of 10 would already fantasize and get sexually stimulated. Now, put it the other way round: A naked man walking through 10 girls: 2-3 will look in "sexual heat", the rest may look but will do so having fun and finally, less than 3 would fantasize. This depends on location anyway, but like I mentioned earlier, it is on a general note.

What does Attraction signify?

Let's take a look at some quotes to back up point 7. A Marriage Agency site which is in charge of connecting Eastern European girls to Western Men had a discussion and posted something very interesting but true

"Men are first attracted to women by the way they look. Interestingly enough, serious ladies seek for Human qualities and not the physical beauty of a man, concentration on the personality and behavioral qualities that would make a fitting match for their personality."

This is the main reason why ladies are more of victims to bad relationships than the Men. How on earth can a girl pretend to be the kind of woman I like if she is slim, short, light skinned and a blonde, while I like a busty, tall, dark skinned and dark haired girl? The plastic surgery she will undergo will make her an alien to her true self. But a girl who admires a smart, well dressed and hardworking guy can meet lots of fakes who will meet her prize. We will talk more on this when comparing the Attraction and Love itself.

8. Finally, Attraction never seizes to end on individuals until Life time. This is totally true. The attraction will never end, since it is something very superficial. Most Men who go into marriages to remedy their promiscuity are making one of the biggest Mistakes of their Lives. Why? We will find out in subsequent series of this interesting topic.

Some relevant Biblical Passages

2 Samuel 11:2-4:
"One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then she went back home."

David saw her and she was beautiful: The attraction here been manifested, then something happened. He sent for her and took her to bed: Product of attraction which is sex.

Songs of Solomon 7:1-9
"How beautiful your sandaled feet,
O prince’s daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels,
the work of a craftsman’s hands.

Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat
encircled by lilies.

Your breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.

Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon
by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus.

Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
Your hair is like royal tapestry;
the king is held captive by its tresses.

How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
O love, with your delights!

Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.

I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
and your mouth like the best wine.

From this passage above, we can see that it does not talk about any soul-to-soul connection here, only but body parts been exalted. This is purely physical which is attributed to the attraction.

In conclusion, we have seen what the attraction is all about. It is not a bad thing but as time goes on and as we continue in this series we will realize that it could be dangerous as well. Nonetheless, it is vital in loving someone. Before we go to the next series, just take some time out to read some of my poems hitting the nail on the head to explain this attraction
1. Fantasy of a Teenage girl
2. Just in a split second-The sexuality of a lady in red.

For those of you not yet connected to this community and you are sure, you can write, why not try writing and at the same earning making some passive income by earning as you write and publish? This is real and if you wanna try, then register here.


Acquaintance, Admiration, Agape, Anger, Eastern European Girls, Eros, Established Relationship, Hormones, Hunger, Kiss, Magnetic Force, Obsession, Phenomenon, Phileo, Physical Attraction, Romance, Sex, Storge, Superficial Feeling, Taste

Meet the author

author avatar Funom Makama
A medical Practitioner and a passionate writer. A proud published Author of 2 books, more than 2,000 articles online and 500 Poems!

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
19th Feb 2012 (#)

oh love, this is a great piece and the pictures too...

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author avatar pretty_writer
20th Feb 2012 (#)

The way you have made some hidden facts explicit here is overwhelming. I have definitely learnt a lot. Thanks for the share and wisdom.

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author avatar Funom Makama
20th Feb 2012 (#)

thank you too for the comment. Its nice the article is worth reading

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author avatar Funom Makama
19th Feb 2012 (#)

thanks a lot cnwriter!

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
19th Feb 2012 (#)

Well Nice theme, not everything the Bible says is practical in todays world. Like giving 10% of your income to the church, do you do that???
The psychology of the Bible is to get people into the straight and narrow path and and the old testament also has the ten commandments in the first five books of the Bible written by Moses and the burning bush. Coveting another's wife doesnot come under holiness but a crime in the eyes of the law in todays world and in those days with the Creator himself.
Ironically he prevented the first two humans from sleeping with each other so which means David committed a sin by getting the woman in bed so where did purification and cleansing come from.
Product of attraction is the enigma, the personality, the aura and the magnetic vibration of the person that make them who they are and what they are.
I get about 3-6 proposals in my current state and funnily all think sex is the be all and end all in a relationship.
Think without fire there is no smoke but to get a fire you need sticks, dry ground and a spark to get it on.
Which means to get into bed you need to fall in love, feel the passion, the fever soar within you and then create the attraction, the vibration and of course the love along with other abstract things that go along with basic human etiquette of understanding that includes care, understanding, sacrifice, forgiveness, compassion etc. but above all respect for each other which is totally lacking when a woman in todays day and age is used as a use and throw commodity of pleasure making them nothing short of Mary in the Bible who was rebuked as a woman of low character but had enough of love for Jesus to put perfume on the feet of Jesus and wipe it with her hair.
It was enough for him to fall in love with her and being a human male faked his death on the cross, then went and fooled the mother calling himself a gardener and getting the angels to play along while levitating and disappearing to Pakistan on a cloud to marry and have kids and leave a tombstone behind... Which archaeological scientists of today claim to be that of Jesus.
Only to get the Book of revelation say that there would be a second coming and everyone would be on their knees in tears and then shouting here I am lord take me and forgive me for my sins and this time there will be no redemption as he never goes away without passing his final judgement with the sword of truth that speaks no wrong.
Its the peace that passes all understanding when you fall in love and getting called to bed is not a roll call on beckon but a feeling that is magical and blessed by creation saying it is just meant to be and get immortalised forever as the greatest of love ever.
If the Bible talks Fast Love I rather give up reading the Bible and stick with my principle of Do Good, Be Good and Receive Good and keep my life and energy intact as my body is the temple of God and only the chosen ones enter into my life to leave a mark not any person who beckons to bed.
So it was, is and forever shall be, the law of the Universe.

My character speaks for me and would run miles if this is what the Holy Book of God Teaches.

BTW, did you Know the original Land of Mystery was written in 1913 about Saul to Paul and I just took the theme and wrote the Embodiment of Love and the subsequent sequels.

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author avatar Funom Makama
19th Feb 2012 (#)

Thanks a lot Lady Aiyanna for your comment, and pls where did you get this info from: "It was enough for him to fall in love with her and being a human male faked his death on the cross, then went and fooled the mother calling himself a gardener and getting the angels to play along while levitating and disappearing to Pakistan on a cloud to marry and have kids and leave a tombstone behind... Which archaeological scientists of today claim to be that of Jesus. " Definitely not from THE BIBLE! Maybe a documentary or some sorts of scientific falacious findings...

Pls, I do not really get your point in your comment, can you come straight forward and ask any question you need to ask? Follow the articles I have published here so far about Love and show me where the Bible encourages a woman to be used as an object. If that was the case, I would not have been writing about this wonderful gift of Love, using the Biblical Psychology. Please, Aiyanna, be very careful in your judgements, do not attribute the ways of Men to be the teachings of the word, after all, Jesus Christ himself said it that "not all who call me Lord, Lord shall inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

Finally, I suggest you read the Bible once more with a guide or with a True Apostle of Christ because if I am to answer some of the falacy I read here, it will take me more than 10 articles to carefully and comprehensively explain to you..

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author avatar ittech
19th Feb 2012 (#)


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author avatar Funom Makama
19th Feb 2012 (#)


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author avatar Edun Olubunmi
19th Feb 2012 (#)

I am proud of u. Keep it up!

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author avatar Funom Makama
19th Feb 2012 (#)

Thanks a lot Edun Olubunmi

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author avatar Lambasted
20th Feb 2012 (#)

Wow!~~~ This attraction psychology is totally true and my eyes are really opened to some truths you mention here.

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author avatar Funom Makama
20th Feb 2012 (#)

thanks a lot Lambasted.

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author avatar Sheila Newton
21st Feb 2012 (#)

Wow - great content, great images - great star page. Congratulations.

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author avatar Funom Makama
21st Feb 2012 (#)

thanks Sheila Newton..

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author avatar Jules Castillo
23rd Feb 2012 (#)

very nice transition from the previous one

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author avatar Funom Makama
23rd Feb 2012 (#)

Thanks cowboynextdoor

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author avatar Ivyevelyn, R.S.A.
25th Feb 2012 (#)

You certainly address the many questions I have had about "Love". Thank you,

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author avatar Funom Makama
25th Feb 2012 (#)

thank you Ivy... Its nice to know this.

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author avatar Barine Nakwaasah
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

You are so good. Keep this up!

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author avatar Funom Makama
5th Mar 2012 (#)

Thanks a lot and welcome to wikinut

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