Are you ready for a new relationship?

1realistutopian By 1realistutopian, 3rd Sep 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Launching into a relationship too quickly can have disastrous results.

Why do we keep getting it wrong?

Deciding to commit to a new relationship should be given the same depth of thought as any other life-changing opportunity. However, being human beings, flawed with chemical reactions, hormones and imperfect judgements, logic rarely decides matters close to the heart. Commitments we make, to ourselves, to others, to a cause, are choices. In order to make the best choices we need to make ourselves available to all the information.

Here's the Proof

Current divorce statistics project that half of all marriages end in divorce, with subsequent marriages having higher rates of dissolution. Publishing on the website, Jennifer Baker, at the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, confirms 60%-67% of second marriages, and 70%-73% of third marriages end in divorce. A possible reason for this increase pertains to the familiarity with the legal procedures, and cognition that if a relationship is not working, it is easy to get out. Young adults who get married between the ages of 20-24 years dominate the data tables in both males (38.8%), and females (36.6%).

Society is Changing

Although the numbers present a bleak outlook for marriage, they do show that the way society is organized is gradually changing. Dr Neil Clark Warren, founder of the eHarmony online dating website “75 percent of what culminates in a disappointing marriage -- or a great marriage -- has far less to do with hard work and far more to do with partner selection based on broad-based compatibility.”

Dr. Warren offers some practical expert advice about relationships his Huffington Post Blog , and his claim about compatibility is undisputed for those who are ready to move into a relationship. Conversely, if you are not ready to enter into a new relationship, the probability of becoming one of the above statistics is staggeringly high.

How to know if you are NOT ready to commit to a new relationship

A little bit of self-evaluation goes a long way when making any major life decisions. If you answer NO to any of these, you are not ready.

1. Are you emotionally mature?
Find Out Here: Are you Emotionally Mature

2. Are you happy with your life?
Find Out Here: Happiness Self-Test

3. Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Find Out Here: Dr. Phil’s Self-Esteem Quiz

Or, you could look at the situation from a different perspective

If you can answer YES to any of these questions, you are still not ready to commit.

1. Are you insecure?

2. Are you still healing from a previous relationship/still dealing with an ex?

3. Have you taken responsibility for your own failures?

4. Are you overly critical of others?

The Trick is to truly KNOW yourself and your unique personality traits


There are no guarantees in life, and there is increasing uncertainty that a relationship will be successful, so of course some risk is involved. You can reduce at least some of that risk by making the right choices for you after a little self-reflection. Mr. or Ms. Compatible will come your way eventually, so there is no need to rush anyway.


Advice, Advice Column, Advice For Women, Relationship Advice, Relationship Issues, Relationships, Signs

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author avatar 1realistutopian
Writing poetry, women's issues, education, about being a mom, and opinion.

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author avatar lastay
5th Sep 2012 (#)

very helpful

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author avatar rajasekhar
7th Oct 2012 (#)

required information for today's speedy age

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