Are You In Love With A Serial Dater?

Athena By Athena , 25th Nov 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Having been accustomed to their life alone, serial daters are comfortable with their lifestyle and have set their ways enjoying the excitement of dating and sleeping with a lot of people.

How to Identify and Avoid The Serial Dater

They can be fun, charming, witty, and exciting. These individuals are often the ones who have interesting careers and dynamic social lives. Thousands of them can be found in the major cities all over the world. They are on the lookout for beautiful or even smart, and fascinating women and men. They are well versed about food, wine, travel, politics, and the arts—but marriage material? Doubt it. Even though these serial daters are fun to go out with, marriage or even a long-standing commitment is not in their schedule, despite their protestations otherwise.

Janis Spindel, a famous New York matchmaker says, “I know several serial daters (and I do not fix them up with women), and they often say that they haven’t met the right woman yet, one who ‘shares their values.’ Hello!? If you can’t find a partner who shares your values in a great city that is filled to the brim with extraordinary women, excuse me, but there’s a problem.”

Having been accustomed to their life alone, they are comfortable with their lifestyle and have set their ways enjoying the excitement of dating and sleeping with a lot of people. If you just want to hone your dating skills, you may go out with one of these serial daters, but never ever fall for one. If you do, you are setting yourself up for a lot or heartaches.

Signs of a Serial Dater

Janis Spindel recommends the following checklist. If two or more of the following are true of your date, you may have a chronic problem on your hands.

1. You met him or her on an internet dating site (these individuals think of the Internet as the depot of dating)

2. They are professionals, over forty, and have never been married.

3. They claim that they have plans to settle down and get married but the truths is they have not been in a committed relationship in over two years.

4. The first few dates may be fantastic, but soon they simply stop calling without even a break-up notice.

5. They are irresistibly charming but can never achieve psychological intimacy (although they have no problem getting someone into bed with them).

6. They love to talk about work and career above all other topics. The reason behind this is that they are married to their jobs, which is why they aren’t married to a person).

7. They know the latest buzz on trendy bars and restaurants– often even before they are open (the serial dater is always more excited to be seen at hot spots than spending time with someone whom they could potentially share their life with).

8. Serial daters prefer to spend weekends alone or with buddies and have no interest in seeing you.

Dating should not be, as much as possible, a hit-or-miss thing. You have to act on it, be proactive and not just wait and be reactive. Be warned and be ready for the consequence of your choices.

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Tags

Dating Advice, Dating Sites, Dating Tips, Dating Warning, Serial Dater, Serial Dating, Single Men, Single Women

Meet the author

author avatar Athena
A mother, a musician, a teacher, a writer... in that order.

Life inspires me to write.

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Comments

author avatar Denise O
25th Nov 2011 (#)

I have dated a few of these, many years ago. When I met my hubby and we started dating, within 1 month he asked me to marry him. I was shicked and after my experience before, I might have shyed away from it all but, he won me over. I have yet to regret it all two decades later. Bottom line is, Iam sure glad I am no longer in the dating world. Nice read. Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Apple
27th Sep 2012 (#)

I've been in love with one for at least two years now and have gone through a lot of heartaches because he has not been able to commit. He is aware of his dating out of control dating habits and even though he knows it isn't right, he doesn't seem to be able to change and most likely never will. I know I'm a good woman and deserve more however he has captured my heart and I've not been able to move on ever since. :(

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author avatar Scott
27th Jan 2013 (#)

Yes I have been with a serial dater. Every guy fits the perfect descriprion, but really has no chance in the long run. Promises were made to me just like I'm sure they were made to others before and after me. My red flag should have been when she said about her ex boyfriends "there was really nothing wrong with those guys". Or when she made a pie chart of space in her life with a tiny piece for me. She always made me think it was forever to get what she wanted from me, but had many other guys waiting on the side for the next potential partner. It is hard to determine this trait off the start, but don't let someone like this take a part of your heart. It only adds to thier collection on the mantle place.

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