Alcoholism: Daddy's Little Girl, Never!

Denise OStarred Page By Denise O, 1st Mar 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/5dp2bvag/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Domestic Violence & Abuse

It is a done deal, I will not allow 'drunk' Dad back into my life, it must end. Nope, I am done! I will deal with my Brother's mental challenges/bipolar as a result of this but, 'we' can not talk to this man.

No More!

This is it, I am done, I am no longer going to hold out in the hope that my dad will ever care enough about us, to take that alcohol away from his lips. I let him go back in 2009 and then he once again sucked me in, by the way of my brother Billy.

If I stop Billy from calling Dad and our little brother than that tends to rev up Billy's bipolar and it also confuses him, as a child, because of his mental challenges. As a child you must love your parents and do as they say. So Billy's child side (mental challenges) of him, wants to keep him going back to Dad, searching for that acceptance.

I tried once again, for almost 3 weeks to be the good sister and help my brother out, by being the go to gal, for Dad, instead of Billy having to deal with him trying to stay sober. Last night when he called me, he went overboard, he was disgustingly drunk, he could barely put two words together and this daughter, of that man, has had enough! No more drunk dad in my life, for any reason!

He can cross me off his list, I am through!

Photo: I have always remembered this photograph of Dad and us having a big crease in it. Maybe, fate already knew 'this mix' was doomed from the start.

Lock & Load!

I must walk away and as I am doing this, I am take my brother Billy, right along with me, I have no choice. Billy's bipolar moods have been like shooting out both ends of the cannon, talking to Dad sober these last few weeks. Just imagine a mean, vile, nasty drunk and that is what will be put in Billy's ear, if he talks to Dad. Imagine the damage!

Nope, we have had enough, that man can redeem himself and then I will be there for him, but from now on, he is on his own. Billy will be hurt but, we will work it out. Between his school and our family that surrounds us, we are all loaded up and we are ready for this battle.

Dan and I had a talk with our son last night and we explained to him what has been going on with his Uncle Billy. We chatted a bit longer, trying to figure out our game plan. This is what we came up with, Marcus will call Billy everyday, during his break. Billy loves to play billiards so, our son will be taking Billy out once a week, so they can shoot pool.

My daughter and her finance, whom live in Texas will be entertaining their uncle, while he goes on his yearly vacation later this year. No, he will not go out to Utah, not with them, not how they are.

My husband Dan, is also making extra efforts and knows he will have to up the game for the next month or so, if we have a chance. A chance that 'this hit', will not be 'the last blow' that pushes my brother over the edge.

Grab More Troops!

Billy's counselor has been informed on the status of, 'keep the ungrateful sot sober' and she agrees with me, Billy and I can not keep going on with this, over and over again. Of course she always gives me great tips to help Billy through these episodes.

These are the things that she wants me to interject into our conversation:

Do not make things permanent. Make it a let us see how it goes in a month moment.

Let him know all about the extra's he will be getting from those of us that love him. Phone calls, trips, extra outings.

Do not lie to him.

Ask him questions and make 'him' come up with the answers.

Talk in a calm but a reassuring voice, so to make him feel secure.


The last thing she always says before we hang up the phone is, Good luck. This is what I am going to need. I keep hearing the cars coming up the street and today, each one sounds like Billy's school van. Soon I will be breaking my brothers heart.

Shrug

I have been asked if my sister has been found, well no. You can not find something, that does not want to be found. She is a drunk, she is selfish, the only thing that matters to her is, when is happy hour and oh yes, when is happy hour.

She only wants Billy when she needs someones shoulder to cry on, as she soaks up beer after beer. She only talks to me when she needs something. Do not worry about the money sis, buy ya something pretty.

I could careless where she is. By Debbie not keeping in contact with our brother Billy has sealed her fate with me. She too promised our mother that she would help take care of Billy. She has done nothing good for him, though she does continuously hurt our brother. Yesterday I asked for you to cry for her, today I say, why worry.

Our sister knows what Billy goes through and yet, she is playing her part in hurting him, just so she can go back to her abusive drunk of a boyfriend, so she can still party hearty, I know her! As I was writing an article yesterday on this very issue, I already had the ending written up and it was true to form I found out, once Dad called. Money came, party time.


Debbie's story will be about the same. Went back to drinking and the drunk abusive boyfriend. Billy and I have seen one too many beatings growing up. We know what domestic violence is all about and now Billy is so worried because Debbie went back to a abusive relationship, confirmed today. Does she care, apparently not!

Yep big sis, do as you always do, run and this time, keep going and do not look back!

I Got This!

I just finished my conversation with my brother about how our dad has once again let us down as he was drunk last night. Billy's voice did say he was fine but, his eyes speak another story. Billy has decided for us, that we are not going to make calls or receive any calls from Utah. I agree.

I have a feeling things are not going to go as smooth as I wish they would. If the outside dysfunctional people would just stay out of his life, he would be in such a better state of mind. Also though, if Billy would stop crawling back to them and seeking their approval things would run better. I just do not know what is going to happen.

We are all going to do all we can to help Billy, he has given me the authority to be the one to answer the phone, as he does not want to be put in the place of, do I answer it or not and I can handle that. I have never had a hard time 'not' answering a ringing phone.

When Billy just sat down in the living room about 15 minutes ago, after our chat, I noticed his breathing was irregular. All of this has just hit him and all I can think of is, how I am going to fix this.

Billy jumped up and ran to the bathroom and vomited. No, he is not taking it that well. I told him to go lay down and then I searched for the telephone.

Damn Right!

Yes, I am mad. I just called Dad, I wanted to let him know, I do not want him to call my home drunk again and for that matter, do not call my home for the next 30 days, unless you are in rehab. Did he like it, heck no! He was once again, drunk out of his mind. He called me a bitch and before I was able to blast him back, he hung the telephone up on me.

This now ends a chapter in my life, no it was not meant to be...

I will never be Daddy's little Girl and I will be just fine!


I just worry about my brother, Billy. Please put him in your thoughts, he is not taking this well.

Please take a look at a few other articles I have written about my brother and I...

Alcoholism: Daddy's Little Girl, Not Even!

You Are your Brothers Keeper. When Bipolar, goes Awry! Part I

My Path Followed... Leads me to Writing on Wikinut Part 1

Valentine's Day Massacre: Not! Bipolar & Mental Challenges

I would like you to please go take a look at my friends very informative article...

Domestic Violence, An Epidemic! Written By: Jerry Walch

Do you have a story on abuse you would like to share, join Wikinut and earn money while helping others.

Tags

Alcohol, Alcoholic, Alcoholism, Bipolar, Daughter, Denise O, Domestic Violence, Dysfunctional, Family, Father, Mental Illness, Parents, Relationships, Sad, Story, True

Meet the author

author avatar Denise O
I live in Georgia, USA. I am a granny to 3 precious children. I am Mama to Bugg and two human beings. I was once married to a wonderful, Dan.

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Comments

author avatar Jerry Walch
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Denise, what can I say except that my heart bleeds for you and for Billy and I would like to make that bastard that calls himself your father bleed, literally.,

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

I hear ya Jerry. Billy just came in my room to show me his night pill and he was shaking. My brother has not had a seizure since 6 months after he arrived in my home. UGH! I hope ths does not start a seizure. I am going to answer Bev's message and then I am going to go watch some TV with Billy. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Songbird B
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Oh Denise..I am crying in my heart for you girl, but I know that you have made the right decision. Some people who are more in love with the bottle than anyone else, do not want or intend to change. It is the life they have become comfortable with. We all have options. When we see something as destructive as this that hurts others that you love, something has to change..Billy may be hurting now but you have made the right decision. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers my friend, and congrats on another Star page. Hugs to you xxxx

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Bev, We just have to all concentrate on Billy. Put our prayers there please. I am so worried. Dan should be home soon, thank you Lord. I am going to go watch some TV with Billy. I know this is the right decision, just how much damage it will cause, is the question. Thank you for being there. <Hugs> Back.:)

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author avatar Vernazoa
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

I am bipolar too. I have lived alone since 1977 by my own choice. The struggle to keep my mind in tact sometimes is difficult for me. Bipolar illness is a destroyer of many families. My dream was to be reunited with my blood brothers and my children. My dream came true.

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Oh I am so happy y'all were reunited. Bipolar is really hard to handle, I see it through my brother. I see how hard it is for him and I know how hard it must be for you. If Billy had never of came to my home, he would have never of been dx with it. His actual dx is Psychotic manic depressive. Bipolar does not mean it has to destroy the family, if not for the dysfunctional folks that surround us, I think he would be handing things darn good. I am so glad things are going your way. I am sorry you live with bipolar. Remember, take your meds and when it seems like life is going low, get your self up and when your life is going high in the sky, chill down. Bless you. Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Robb714
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

What to say. I think somebody needs Jesus. I deal with these same issues and have found a little Jesus helps. Rx are not the answer for anything, trust me on this. That’s my take on it, let it go, find Jesus and it will be better. I know it’s offensive but it is all I have to offer.

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Robb, how can Jesus be offensive. Where we do differ is that, I do believe in using meds when needed and 'I' Feel God does not mind at all. Without meds, my brother would have been gone a long time ago. I know this to be a fact. Some folks need a little help and their illnesses are medically proven, they are facts. I am a christian and I pray, God is my father and Jesus is my savior and God's son. It has nothing to do with my 'lack' of belief, I wish it was then I think I would have a few less physical ailments. I do not think we are given diseases from God, because we are not good servants to him and his son, we are given diseases because of many reasons but, not God. If that is what you are saying, then we must disagree on this one.. You say Tomato and I say, toemato. That's what makes the world go around. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Well they do say you can choose your friends not your relatives.
You might make a choice never to be Daddy's Girl but without him you would never ever exist as he contributed in making you and that makes you his girl if not by recognition but by way of your genetics.
He may not be the greatest dad, but always remember that he created you.

I corrected my mum on this on Sunday (26th February 2012) when she told me my son spoke against his father. I told her to correct him and help him realise that he exists in this world only because his father made him happen.

Never forget the roots, you are there because of them, destroy the roots, you destroy the plant.

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author avatar Buzz
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Your childhood made me so sad, my friend, my heart goes out to you. Great star page!

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Hey Buzz, that was only half my life or not even, as Mama was around us more than this prick. We had a great time when it was just Mama, I have such wonderful memories of her and also of the places we have traveled. Also Buzz, I appreciate your lovely thoughts but hon really, do not worry about me, I am just fine and have been for a 'long' time, when it comes to Dad. I have been a realist since a child, some times domestic violence tends to put that smack dab in the children's faces. So I saw things for what they were when I was knee high to a grasshopper. You are too kind. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Denise Larkin
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

I know what it feels like to have someone in your family that drinks all the time. My brother died of alcohol problems as it damaged his liver!

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Oh Denise, I am so sorry my dear, how awful for you and your family. It is so hard watching the ones we care for, slowly kill themselves with this one substance. Once again, I am so sorry my friend.:)

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author avatar Ivyevelyn, R.S.A.
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Dear Denise: I understand your problem so well. I can be very unsympathetic with a drunk and lay down the law. Then, however, I begin to feel sorry for the person involved, and that is not the way to go.
Love, Ivyevelyn.

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

Ivyevelyn, of course we do feel sorry for them, we are caring people. I have just gotten to the point though that, I can not feel sorry for this man, no more. Too much violence has come from this man's hands, and steadily given, to some of the folks I love the most. I must rely on my beliefs and in my beliefs, God tells me to stay away from wicked people, I am not only to turn away, I must cast them away. If they are to come back towards the light, I am 'then' suppose to turn the other cheek. Not for me to keep taking dad's abuse and just turn the other cheek. Where as I have my responsibility to turn the other cheek, when he does come to the good, he also has his responsibility to turn to the good, to warrant me turning my cheek. So no, I am not going to keep taking his punches and then go back. He has been a mean and violent man all my life. Hon for my sanity and my beliefs, I must let go, I can no longer keep bringing myself down. I have way too many folks in my life that I love, respect and want to enjoy and they give this back to me. These are the folks that need my time and energy and I need theirs. I am blessed, there is no doubt, it is just about time I myself, enjoy the pictures of my life. I feel no guilt, I have done more than most would have but, you have to know when to walk away. My prayers go out to you and your family, this is not a easy road to walk on. Love ya hon. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar GV Rama Rao
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

My dear Denise O,
I didn't know all this info about your dad and brother.My heart goes out for you. All I can say is I wish you a good future.
The best way is to forget about all these things and move on.

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author avatar Denise O
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

I hear ya my friend. I have been ready to let go awhile back. I have yet to begun to tell about the damage this man has caused, in just the last (almost) 3 years, let alone the 45 years prior that he was in my life and it started prior to me coming here to earth. My brother was just not ready and that kept pulling me back in, as I am my brother's caregiver. Now my brother is ready to let go and now I think we can both start the healing. My pain for the most part has been, watching what they have done to my brother, to see him hurt, it just tears my heart in two. My friend, I have no problem moving on and thank God, now my brother is ready. I say praise the lord on that one. Thank you for your kind words and as always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Jules Castillo
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

i understand how it feels. i hope you fell better soon.

god bless you my friend

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

I am sorry you know. Thank you my friend. God bless you! As always, thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Delicia Powers
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

You have done the right thing and yet I know there is no real comfort in that- you are a mountain of strength...hold firm- and keep yourself well, it is not easy having so much on your shoulders, but thank heavens for your wonderful husband and beautiful children and of coarse Billy they are true are blessings...if a person has decided drink is the most important thing in there life they are on a road of total destruction and the only thing to do is not be a haven along that path .....thanks my remarkable friend.

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

You know hon, it has been some what of a relief, it really has been. I can 'now' just let it all go, they are not worth my time. Exactly, why am I walking their path, it is not the one I have chosen. Oh and I am firm on this, I am a stubborn as a mule when need be. Thank you Delicia for being there for me, you are a good friend. Looks like we dodged a bullet with the storms, so I am going to go lay down. I was going to network a bit but, I will do it later. The dogs and I have been up all night. Have a blessed day.:)

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author avatar richellet
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

I see you are a very strong woman denise and that I admire the most. Keep writing and let your story be heard.

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author avatar Denise O
4th Mar 2012 (#)

richellet, I must write, I just can not get away from this bug and you what, I don't want to.LOL
I don't know if it is that I am strong or, just that I am stubborn, hmmm.
As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

This is indeed tough for a caring sister and daughter, whatever be your relationship with your dad! He keeps bouncing back into your life, leaving scars taking longer to heal whenever he lets you down. I just cannot fathom how you keep yourself sane amid all these happenings. For Billy, he cannot live with his dad and without too. I always maintain that in this world, some take advantage, create problems for others while the latter keep clearing the trash! I have seen in Asia how some women kept their families afloat while their husbands were not only abusive but could not even hold on to any job to earn an income. The women were literally looking after the children, husband, home and on top, earning for all! Alcohol consumes everything in its wake and destroys not only the addicted but entire innocent families - collateral damage! I can only wish and pray for you and your supportive family members moral and physical fortitude - siva

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author avatar Denise O
4th Mar 2012 (#)

Siva, I too pray for them but, not as I once did. I must cast them away, for 'my family's' sanity and my own. Enough is enough. I no longer am cleaning up after them and it is about darn time I did some spring cleaning of the bad blood that 'use' to surround me. Have a blessed day my friend. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

I was lucky with my parents but have met many people who had very bad relationships...your article is marvellous Denise and reflects who you truly are ..a most caring loving woman ...thank you and congrats on the starred page too

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author avatar Denise O
4th Mar 2012 (#)

I am so happy for you cn, I really am. I mean it when I say, I have watched my daughter experience what I missed out on and that in itself has healed me. Thank you for your kind words. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar vpaulose
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

Excellent dear sister Denise. Thank you for your comment and concern. I am staying in Austin Texas, looking after 2 grandchildren. Fully occupied. Thank you

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author avatar Denise O
4th Mar 2012 (#)

Well my brother, I care about you. Oh how nice for you to be with your grands. I bet you are occupied and loving every moment of it. I am so happy for you. May you and yours have a blessed day. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Carol
4th Mar 2012 (#)

Oh Denise, please keep your chin up hun, enough is enough! You are incredibly brave, and Billy is lucky to have such a sister. You have been a wonderful mother to your own daughter, and you have your lovely grandson. Be proud of what you have achieved! love Carol xxx

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author avatar Denise O
4th Mar 2012 (#)

Oh hon, letting go, has lifted me up so much. I have that huge elephant off my back. I have been working closely with Billy these last few days and continue to do so. Even though now my work load is a bit more with Billy, it really has been great and not stressful at all. See what happens when you put your energy in the right place. I know hon, having the son and daughter I do, I know I achieved something here on earth, just through being their mama. Now to be a Gammy to my son's child, oh geesh my friend, I must have done something right, to have that precious child in my life. You have a blessed day. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar edumate
4th Mar 2012 (#)

I am in grief to read your post . My prayers and good wishes for you .

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author avatar Denise O
4th Mar 2012 (#)

Thank you so much edumate for your prayers, what a gift. You have a blessed day. Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar poetic2984
4th Mar 2012 (#)

Hope all is well with you and that your strength grit and determination will see you through as always you are in the thoughts- Wondering about you-glad to see you- All the best-

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author avatar Denise O
8th Mar 2012 (#)

Thank you poetic for your concern, we are doing fine thank you. We will make it one way or another. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Retired
5th Mar 2012 (#)

Thanks for sharing this article!

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author avatar Denise O
8th Mar 2012 (#)

You are most welcome. Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Sheila Newton
6th Mar 2012 (#)

What dreadful times you've had in your life. And every time you've not only dealt with them - but in a lot of ways, I really do think your experiences have made you stronger. Strong enough now to say you don't want booze in your life - not to the extent where it becomes a controlling factor. Because I do believe that, somehow, alcohol has a mind of its own, not matter who it's in. Good for you for making this so tough decision. you desreve more than a star page - you deserve a medal.

I'm away now for 2 weeks hols. No commenting for a while Denise- sorry! In the meantime, keep your pecker up.

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author avatar Denise O
8th Mar 2012 (#)

Thank you Sheila for your kind words. I am not against alcohol, just those that have decided to take alcoholism to the extreme and make it their life. Have a great holiday. As always, thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar richardpeeej
8th Mar 2012 (#)

Oh Denise what a story! you certainly tugged at my heartstrings with this one....I am thinking of you ...Rich

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author avatar Denise O
8th Mar 2012 (#)

Thank you Rich, that is very kind of you. We are doing fine, I am sure we will hit a bump or two but, we will make it. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Melinda Bocook
8th Mar 2012 (#)

This is a very good story, I really like how you brought your feeling together, really brought your feelings together, I really think you showed us some real stuff that happens in family. I enjoyed reading this, it makes me want to scream at your father.

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author avatar Denise O
10th Mar 2012 (#)

Melinda, I could do some screaming myself, I tell ya but, what good would it do. At times it is just better to count your loses and that is what I just have to do right now. Thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar D in The Darling
9th Mar 2012 (#)

So impressive as usual. The truth is, I'm speechless.Thanks for sharing is all I can say.

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author avatar Denise O
10th Mar 2012 (#)

Awww shucks D, you make me blush. Thank you for your kind words and as always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Funom Makama
10th Mar 2012 (#)

Just checking on you Denise, but reading this has turned the situation around to giving me great luck coming to your page. A piece showing such bravery, love, protection and care is exactly the perfect breakfast before my Cup of Tea..

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author avatar Denise O
10th Mar 2012 (#)

Thank you hon for checking in, I have just taken a few days off, as family does come first. Billy is dealing fairly well but, he really needs mine and my family's time and attention right now. Thank you for your concern, your kind words and as always...
Thank you hon for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Judy Ellen
10th Mar 2012 (#)

You are such a spectacular person Denise to have gotten through so much. The way you are helping your brother is awesome! I applaud you!! Your tough love approach is exactly the right thing to do with your alcoholic Dad. He needs to hit rock bottom so that he will finally get help to stop drinking! My heart is broken for what you must have gone through, but, my love and prayers are with you!!

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author avatar Denise O
25th Jul 2012 (#)

Thank you so much Judy for your very kind words. I also apologize to you for waiting so long to answer this lovely message. I believe if you do not take a tough love approach then you serve no one, including yourself. Thank you for your prayers and love, as mine are with you also. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar NancyG in TN
16th Mar 2012 (#)

Bless you Denise, I know that was hard to share! We will all pray for you and for the family.

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author avatar Denise O
25th Jul 2012 (#)

Thank you so much Nancy for your prayers, they are very much appreciated. Please excuse me for waiting so long to leave a message to your response. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar M G Singh
5th Apr 2012 (#)

Hi Denise ! spent time now to read this post. it is a wonderful representation. You deserve a war medal for it

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author avatar Denise O
25th Jul 2012 (#)

Awww thank you Madan for your very kind words. Heck my friend, this is just life. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Humza
25th Jul 2012 (#)

No offences at all, but debbie and your dad DO NOT deserve even a single word of concern, consideration, care, love and courtesy

Unless and untill they come walking on their knees, rubbing their noses in your and billy's feet and begging for forgiveness, they SHOULD NOT AT ALL BE FORGIVEN for all the damages and heart breakings they have done.

For all the hard times they have inflicted upon u and bill!

But as I have always said that u r an Iron Lady, you always make me feel more proud of the tiltle I have given you.
You raise the standard every time, every time!!!

Hats off to u for your courage and patience!

Hats off lady :)

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author avatar Denise O
25th Jul 2012 (#)

None taken, I agree. I would have them two completely out of my thoughts if not for Billy but, he keeps running back, it just breaks my heart. What are you to do, right. It is a honour to know you my friend. As always, thank you for stopping by.:)

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author avatar Treyward
26th Jul 2012 (#)

I understand why you made your choice. You and your family are both in my prayers that everything works and I hope that everything works out amicably.

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author avatar Humza
27th Jul 2012 (#)

once you just put them away, they come back or they dance around, be strong and dont give it a damn!!!

IRON LADY :)

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