After The Affair - Pick Up The Pieces And Move On

Lucas Uren By Lucas Uren, 22nd Dec 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

When you have learned that your spouse has so un-thoughtfully cheated on you, your mind is bombarded by a volley of negative thoughts. It is now, after the affair has come to light that the questions start creeping in. You are feeling numb, all the while asking yourself; "How can this be? This is not really my life, is it? What did I do to deserve this?"

After The Affair Your Thoughts Are A Mess!

Negative thoughts are persistently invading your mind, hacking away at your ability to cope with normal every day life, you are probably struggling to find balance and unable to focus on saving your marriage at this point.

Don't despair, in this article I will help you to survive these insidious negative thoughts so you can get the control back of your most prized personal asset - Your Own Thoughts.

After The Affair The Reasons For Infidelity Are Often Incomprehensible.

Once you have discovered your spouse’s secret - his / her affair, you are going to feel like you are going crazy, the future of your marriage, your life together is at stake, you are drowning, beating yourself up on the inside with images of your cheating spouse and the future is bleak. After the affair you are desperately trying to rationalize in your own mind the reasons why it has turned out like this. But nothing makes any sense!

You see, most people who are caught up in a web of negative thoughts are searching for a logical explanation for illogical behavior on the part of their spouse. The core question the cheated may want answered is: “Why did my spouse cheat?”

But when a cheating spouse is confronted with such a question, they often can not provide a suitable answer to explain their actions.

Getting trapped by this question and the pool of negative thoughts that accompanies it is natural, but it’s ultimately a waste of time. You should not have to remain in this state any longer than what it takes to process these negative thoughts and then toss them out.

If you are experiencing this period of negative thoughts, you need to know how to begin freeing yourself and recovering from this negativity loop so you can find the peace of mind you deserve.

After the affair you are going to have to learn some positive steps to create new levels of trust, honesty and intimacy with your partner. Don't let a stubbornness to mistrust your partner ruin your chances of rebuilding your relationship and making it better than ever before. It can be done!

For more information on how to rebuild a marriage after the affair, visit:


Affair, Affairs, Infidelity, Marriage, Marriage Adultery Affairs, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Marriage Relationship Problems, Marriage Saved

Meet the author

author avatar Lucas Uren
I am an Australian living in Japan and I write about varying topics for various sites (some my own) on the internet.

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