Adoption..for a short term? An out of box thought

vandana7 By vandana7, 10th May 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/gdxp6764/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Adoption

Conventional adoption laws may need to be reviewed for more help reaching the more needy.

Conventional adoption versus suggested system

So conventional adoption system is something that saddles you with the child whether you wanted it or not in the first place, the moment you sign on those dotted line. Now, it is not easy I know to love every child, notwithstanding what books and religion may say, at least not for everybody. But some may want to check their feelings and it should be okay to do that. Conventional adoption system does not allow that. Therefore, it may be actually hampering adoptions rather than increasing them.

Therefore, a system suggested is to have shorter term adoption such as 3 years or 5 years during which the child gets to stay with the new parents and both child and parents get to check whether they are comfortable with each other for further period. That way, parents would not resent the child as much as they would if they were saddled with the child for say 15 or 20 years.

It also gives an opportunity to older children to be adopted. Usually, it is difficult to find a home for such kids. If the people desirous of adopting are beyond certain age, it is difficult for them to adopt easily because laws as they exist now does not consider the possibility of such kids being able to bathe without assistance, study without much help, and cook something for themselves if parent is not able to do so.

Term adoptions would also help those who are not financially too well off to adopt if they so desperately seek to have a child around. It would also helped bereaved people recover from the loss of their child or other loved ones.

Finally, from the child's perspective, there will be some family. We all have family consisting of aunts and uncles who are usually blood relatives. Extended family is usually large. If the child is unacceptable to the family because they see him or her as the cause for their inheritance loss, then the child has nobody. But with term adoptions, it would be possible for the child to have more than one set of parents who would be his well wishers, and more than one set of brothers and sisters too to turn to for any advise or help. Effectively, the child would be better integrated in the social fabric if such thing could be possible. Of course, the same set of parents could continue with the same child if it is mutually acceptable to both.

Tags

Adoption, Laws, Term

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author avatar vandana7
Hi...I suddenly remember ABBA ..I am nothing special...hope you like what I write, and I like what you write.

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
10th May 2014 (#)

sounds like good advice...

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
11th May 2014 (#)

It seems like a sort of foster care program.

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author avatar vandana7
11th May 2014 (#)

Yeah..quite like foster care but slightly deeper involvement. We in India do not have foster care system at all, which is bad.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
11th May 2014 (#)

There is something called an Open Adoption Scheme but only given in legal authority wherein the child is registered with the police along with the name of the parents and they are maintained and shown at the police station every year.
I know the way as I have done this with the help of a lawyer and legally endorsed it with the Justice of Peace in NZ before sending my child to India and the above process with the police registration is done within the Indian Government norms wherein a certificate of abandonment from the Child Youth and Family NZ, the child's doctors etc. have been submitted to them including proof of the childs abuse and violent treatment from the father which included video proof.

The fact is that I know my laws in India and was training to be a lawyer out there. The process is to legitimise the whole thing using legal documentation, wherein I send income for maintenance while the father is in a mental asylum (medical documents given to the Indian Police too) proving his violence was caused due to mental derangement. The fact is that he is still married to me, has to pay Child Support in NZ as the child is an International Citizen studying in India and Above all a victim of Child Abuse from his father. Proof of this was given in counselling and worse parental observation of the child with both the mother and father. They found him freer with the mother resulting in the man going to be with his mother and a protection order within the Indian Police Force drawn up to prevent the man from touching, talking or abusing the child. The fact, my husband is given the chance to speak to my child only on humane basis not because he is beneficial to the upbringing. He made the child a mental wreck by telling him his smile was no good, he wasnot handsome, broke his personality at the age of three and my brother and myself brought him up till I went down into depression resulting in a very painful separation and parting wherein he was made to school in India under maximum security for the fear of his life as the father tried to use abusive negative influence on him, military dominance and power from his brother in the Indian Navy and worse political influence from his cancer ridden rich dying childless brother and his naval brothers' sister in-law whom he also fathered a child with because of his brothers' HIV issues.
None the less, I have done this all in protection of my child and the father, from last Sunday, has been banned from coming near my child as he also used gang violence and nefarious activities with his sister in-law, my brothers' wife who filed for divorce within 9 days of married life.
Fact, find out from the police how to go about the process. That is how I did it.
Sorry, I am born and brought up in India and was to be an NLSIU trained lawyer but did Business Law as part of my Management curriculum.

Visit me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/LadyAiyanna1 to see who I am.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
11th May 2014 (#)

BTW, my child is with his grandmother and Uncle and is maintained on a regular basis by ME. I even do his homework and look through his studies using Skype.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
11th May 2014 (#)

My bereavement is the fact that the husband robbed us of our income and threw us on the road and only just found out in 2012 he was sleeping with the neighbours wife too apart from family getting him married again in Bombay.

Its not an Out of the Box thought, I have already done it and for safety and prayer of life for my kid as I sort mess my husband created in NZ.

SINwriter quite hates me for doing that as she knows the whole story and makes fun of my life in her poetry. Grown used to it now.

Oh Yea, forgot to say I aced Overall Bangalore University in Business Law and was trained by real lawyers too.

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author avatar vandana7
15th May 2014 (#)

This is nice information Lady Aiyanna. I am sorry that you had to go through so much and are still going through some. Hope your trials and tribulations get over soon, and your child realizes how lucky he is to have a strong lady like you in his life. I know how it is in India, and I can truly empathize with your situation. To me this is not a situation to be made fun of. In fact, any personal situation in life is not worth ridiculing at all. They are puzzles that we need to find solution to, which you have done splendidly. Please rest assured that I understand and am grateful for the information you've given here. I was contemplating adoption of a girl child who'd been trafficked by her own parents for earning monies to run the family. But I am not rich, and as you know in India we do have dowry system. Moreover, the child is pretty much grown up, so whether she would trust me, and adjust with me, is something I could not make up my mind about. Moreover, I too have some issues of my own so whether I would be ok with the child living with me was also something I needed to be sure about. In the light of such situation, I felt a short term adoption that would enable me to adopt her, and check whether we can click together would be great. I hope she is not too messed up which could also be dangerous for us. Thanks once again for extremely valuable input. Really really appreciate it.

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author avatar alamaymay
15th May 2014 (#)

this wil be a nice program as it will give the parent and the child time to evaluate their selves if they can go along with each other or not. It will minimized resentment between the parent and the child

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