7 Ways To Build Your Child's Self Esteem

ToyTasting By ToyTasting, 19th May 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Kids

Self-esteem originates from possessing a sense of belonging, where we believe in our capabilities. We believe that our contribution is of value and is worthwhile enough. A parent’s aim should be to develop a child’s self-respect and pride both in himself and his cultural roots. The child should garner enough faith in his abilities to take on the challenges that life throws at him/her. Here are 7 simple strategies to build your child’s self-esteem.

1. Love unconditionally

• The child gains the most understanding that he/she is accepted irrespective of ability, skills, temperament and weaknesses. Shower the child with love! Kiss, cuddle and yes, tell him/her how much you love them. Corrective measures should ensure that it’s the behavior that is causing problems and not the child. Instead of ‘You are such a bad boy! Why can’t you be good?’ ‘Please don’t put that dirty thing in your mouth.’ is a much better thing to say.

2. Undivided attention

• Take time out so that your child gets your undivided attention. Set that office phone aside if the child wants to converse with you. This does wonders for self-esteem as the child realizes that he/she is special. If strapped for time, ask, “So how many three pointers were scored at the basketball match? What did I miss?”
• Make Time For Kids! Read with them, play with them or may be even dance with them. You can buy toys like the Rory Story Cubes they are great to play with your kids. These toys are easily available on any online toy store.

3. Listen

• Be a good listener. The child needs to voice his/her opinion, wants and emotions and realize that they are important enough to be heard.

4. Set limits

• The limits you set should be reasonable yet firm. Discipline enhances self-esteem. For example, if the rule is not to ride the bike in the house, it must never be broken. The consequence must also be spelt out. No bike ride for a week if you break the rule!

5. Allow risks that are healthy

• The exploration of new things is favorable and the emphasis should be on cooperation rather than competition. Volunteering is a great activity to boost self-esteem. Do not try to protect or aid if he/she fails. That’s how you destroy self-esteem. Allow mistakes to happen and let your child learn from them.

6. Celebrate the positives and encourage

• There’s no one who doesn't react positively to encouragement. Praise him/her like you should, within his earshot. “Peter helped me make dinner today!”This will boost the sense of accomplishment and self-esteem in a massive manner. Learn to say, “Thank you.” instead of ‘Well done”
• Encouragement is also about acknowledgement of improvement and not just rewards. Instead of doing it yourself when your daughter is battling a complex Physics equation, encourage her, “You’re almost there sweetheart. You can do it!” Remember, praise is all about rewarding the task but encouragement rewards the person. Excessive praise can also drain self-esteem.

7. Empathize without comparisons

• Never say, “Why can’t you be more like your elder brother?” or “Why can’t you be as nice as Kimberley?” Even positive comparisons like “You’re the best rugby player” can damage self-esteem as it’s tough to live up to the image. Instead, let your child know that you love him/her for the way they are and chances are they’ll value themselves too. Empathy should be directed more like, “That’s correct. Michael is a much better swimmer but your strengths are on the basketball court.” If you say, ‘You’re a good student who’s just having a problem with Math. Let’s sort it out together!’ the child realizes that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and that no one is perfect.

About The Author

This post was contributed by our friend Swayam Ganguly. Swayam Ganguly's novel titled “Love Films and Rock n Roll” (Alchemy Publishers) has been released recently. His next upcoming novel “Good, Bad and Ugly” (Supernova Publishers) is slated for release soon.


Encouragement, Kids, Parenting, Self Esteem

Meet the author

author avatar ToyTasting
ToyTasting is an independent video review channel on toys by mothers

Share this page

moderator Steve Kinsman moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar WOGIAM
21st May 2014 (#)

You have written solid points, most times I as a parent fall short of adhering to them but I personally continue to pray and strive to be the best parent, i can be.

Reply to this comment

author avatar peachpurple
7th Jun 2014 (#)

yes, with lots of love and care, kids will grow well

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?