4 Lessons I learned when I became a young Grandma

Mimi91114 By Mimi91114 , 8th Aug 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

Becoming a young parent is one thing but, becoming a young grandparent is a whole new dimension.

Parenting


When my daughter, at the age of 16, told me she was was pregnant, I was devastated.

"How is she supposed to raise a child when she is still a child herself ?"

"What about her future? Has she ruined it?"

"I'm probably going to have to raise this child myself!"

This and more were the arguments I had with myself, my daughter, her boyfriend, my husband and anyone else that was listening.

Then it got personal. Or should I say, selfish? Maybe a bit vain?

"What about me? I'm not even forty yet and I'm going to be a....."

*GASP*

The dreaded "G" word!

Pictures of little old ladies danced in my head. Their curled puffs of gray hair. The big round glasses. Elastic waisted pants that rest right under the breast. Knitting and naps.

Oh. My. God. Other than the naps, there was nothing about being a "G" word that I liked. I don't even know where one would buy that kind of pants!

I was clearly not ready for that phase of life and was quickly dreading it.

Then came the day.

I was more stressed out during her labor than any of mine. Watching your child go through something you think only grown women should suffer is a very nerve wracking experience.
Then he was here.
A little, screaming, beautiful bundle of preciousness. We all gathered around to meet this little guy and the innocence of him changed us.
Well, at least the way I saw things.

Becoming a young , um, ok, "grandma", has taught me a few things.

1. I no longer say " mistake"

Well, not where it pertains to young mothers.
After my grandson was born I, like many proud grandparents, was showing pictures to my coworkers.
Someone asked, " So do you think she learned anything from this mistake?"
I was, to say the least, upset by that question. My answer:

"My daughter didn't make a mistake. She had a child at a young age and fully understands that her life is going to be a little harder and more demanding."

Although we weren't happy about her having a baby so young, we enjoyed him being in our lives and never thought of him as a mistake.

2. Do not judge a parent by their child's actions.

Before my daughter got pregnant I used to think: bad kids = terrible parents.
I was one of those parents that would say " My kid would never," or " Didn't their parent teach them anything?"
Then my kid did and yes I had taught her, told her and talked to her plenty.
It's like that old saying " you can lead a horse to water but, you can't make it drink "
You can teach your kids everything in the world, talk to them until you are blue in the face about choices and consequences but your child does have a mind of its own.

3. Having grandchildren eases the "Empty Nest" feeling

I had a full time job but was also very into my children's lives. I liked planning their birthday parties, meeting their friends, and going to school functions. I liked playing that role and being that close to my kids. As they got older though, I began to wonder what I would do once they were gone. My mother was constantly telling me, in a very sad way, " you're going to miss them when they leave home." It was a scary thought.
With grandchildren, I haven't experienced any of that sadness my mother felt. I have three grandchildren at this moment and I see and spend time with them a lot. My daughters will pop in any time during the week with their kids and at least 1 or 2 times a week one of them is staying the night with me. So really, my nest is still full.

4. Telling my age is no big thing anymore.

I used to think I would dread turning 40, but since I've become a grandmother I don't care. It's a vain thing, really. When I talk about my grandchildren to people who don't know me well, they always ask my age. When I tell them I am 42, they swear I'm lying.
" Oh my God, I thought you were like, 28!" Or some will go as far as 32-34, but hey it doesn't matter what age they think I am. What matters is that I look younger than my actual age. Who needs the fountain of youth when you have grandchildren at a younger age than most grandparents.

So, yeah, becoming a grandma so young wasn't as bad as I pictured it to be. I rather like being a grandma. It's awesome to have little beautiful people happy to see you, greeting you with open arms and I love it when they say:
" I love you, MiMi".

Ha, yeah, I may be accepting of my new role but, I think I may still be too young to be called, Grandma.


http://www.wikinut.com/in/ybedeb/

Tags

Grandchildren, Parenting Teenagers, Teen Moms, Teen Pregnancy

Meet the author

author avatar Mimi91114
I dabble in poetry and love fiction. I am slightly opinionated and regularly voice my thoughts. I guess my writing may show some of that.

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Comments

author avatar Lee Hansen
11th Aug 2014 (#)

Out of the tough lessons in life often come the most joy. Congrats on your new status. And so glad you learned a lot through this journey,

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