The Woman Behind The Man
God's plan for leadership in the home and tips on how to help your husband become the leader he was born to be. The end result!! A very happy, fulfilled and satisfied wife!!
- Did you know that every man is born to lead?
- What woman would not be willing to follow a loving leader?
- Help your husband learn how to become a leader
- Wives still play a significant role in the decision making process
- First, build your husband up in the Lord.
- A few things wives can do to help their husbands be the leader
- My big mistake
Did you know that every man is born to lead?
Ephesians 5 verse 23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the savior of the body. In verse 24 and 25, it goes on to say, "Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Verse 24 is the real clincher, and I quote! "Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." I don't know what this last verse means to you, but, to me it certainly means that a husband should take very good care of his wife. According to the King James study Bible, the marital responsibility of the husband (verse 25) is to love his wife. The Greek word rendered "love" is agape which denotes the willing sacrificial giving on the husband's part for the benefit of his wife, without thought of return. Quoting from my King James Study Bible! "As Christ gave himself for the church, so there is to be no sacrifice, not even the laying down of his life, that a husband should not be willing to make for his wife." We are not talking about a fleeting romantic love here, but, love in direct obedience to God. I would like to comment here, that when a wife finally learns to let go and let God, romantic love will abound so much that she won't know what to do with all that attention!
What woman would not be willing to follow a loving leader?
Now what woman would not be willing to follow a man who loves her like Christ loves the Church. In this verse the Church means the group of believers, not a building. One other thing I want to note is that if a man is totally submitted to God's will, and, the woman wants God's will in her life, this man should be easy to follow!
Help your husband learn how to become a leader
Even if your husband never had a good role model he still can learn to lead. However, when the wife knows more about spiritual matters then her husband, she can help him learn to be the leader. Oh, what great benefits the wife reaps when she lets her husband lead! I just cannot begin to expound enough on that matter.
It is like a giant load has been lifted from the wife's shoulders. I hate being the leader, and, definitely was not born to lead! I love it when my husband takes the lead, because, I have so many other things that I would rather keep my mind on like learning to play the piano, write songs, play with my grandchildren, cook, take pictures, sew and the list goes on and on!!
Wives still play a significant role in the decision making process
Please try to understand, women, this does not mean that we don't play a very important part in my husband's decision making processes, quite to the contrary! However, after we give him our input, then it is time to back off and let him make the final decision. So what do you do if you don't have confidence in his decision making processes? Pray without ceasing, and, trust that the Lord will show him the way. I have been a Christian long enough to have seen this work time and time again! Let go and let God!!!!
What if your husband never had a good role model like so many men who grew up in my generation, and, just don't know how to lead? How then does a wife help her man to become the leader in the family? The following are a few tips as to how this is accomplished.
First, build your husband up in the Lord.
You may even help him with his Bible studies, if he needs help. One very fun thing is to have your daily devotions together! It is also very important that you never demean or ridicule him. Tell him everyday how much you appreciate him! A good Bible verse to keep you focused on what is positive is:
Philippians 4:8 ESV
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
A few things wives can do to help their husbands be the leader
• 1. Study the Bible yourself so that you know what is right and wrong and also to grow spiritually. This will help you learn to trust the Lord for all things!! If you are trusting the Lord then it will be easier for you to trust your husband!
• 2. Pray for him as often as you possibly can!
• 3. Praise him often for the small decisions he has already made!
• 4. Love him with all your heart and ask God everyday to show you how to love him more! I mean this, girls!!! It takes a lot of praying to have a successful marriage. A successful marriage is not just two people who stayed together because they could not decide who gets what, but, it is a loving Christ filled marriage where both are happy and fulfilled.
• 5. Do little things for him to let him know how much you care! When he is outside doing yard work offer to help him if you can or at least bring him a cold drink.
• 6. Another thing you can do to build your husband up is keep an eye on him! In other words, even though you may be busy, glance at him every once in a while "chuckle" to see if he needs anything. For example, let's say he is working on the kitchen sink and sprawled out on the floor, and, you are smart enough to know that he needs some type of tool. Get if for him! Wow! His eyes will light up with delight!! It is those little things that you can do for him to make him feel loved, accepted, and important. I am saying this because I know some couples including my parents who more or less lived separate lives while in the same house.
• 7. Encourage him with his hobbies and try to develop an interest in them. Well, you can at least pretend!! This one is so very hard for me because my husband is a GEAR HEAD and loves watching the races on TV! This used to be the most boring thing in the world for me and it took me a while to swallow my pride and try to spend a little time watching them with him! Finally one day I thought I would try writing on the races and, all of a sudden I became really interested! Wow! Have I lost my marbles! I am the exact opposite of a Gear Head but do love writing.
A little something I did!
I took the above picture of the wheel barrel hubby worked so long and hard and posted it on Facebook so that my sons and his daughter could see what a great "Mr. fix" he is! Hubby loved that idea because my three sons are quite intimidating. They excel in everything which sometimes makes my husband feel inadequate. I will eventually write an article about all the things my "Mr. Fix It" fixes around here! Boy is he thrilled with that idea!!! You see, a "Gear Head/Mr. Fix It," and, a writer can make a good couple!! Who would have guessed!!!
My big mistake
It took me a while to learn all these things because I always had a tendency to be the Mommy instead of the wife. So many men in my generation would rather let the wife make all the decisions, and, they end up feeling like they are married to their mommy! Perhaps it is our backwards society where so many woman lead and men just observe that makes it difficult to have a happy marriage. God made us and loves us more than we can ever imagine! Therefore, He knows what makes us happy!