Some of the worst things you can do on a first date.
This is about what not to do on a first date,and about some of my experiences while I was going on dates.
- A friend's dating advice, and Cigarette smoking on a date.
- Don't wear clothes that don't fit properly.
- Don't tell too much on a first date.
- Manners at the dinner table.
- Don't brag about your possessions.
- When talking about how great your family and friends are, don't over-do it.
- Don't talk about your ex.
A friend's dating advice, and Cigarette smoking on a date.
My girlfriend told me that when she met a guy for the first time, she would go up to the cigarette machine to buy a pack of cigarettes, and if the guy let her buy her own cigarettes, then she would never go out with him again. You may limit yourself with this scenario, especially if the guy doesn't smoke. But I know where my girlfriend was coming from because I was also impressed when my husband to be bought my drinks, paid for my babysitter,and my cigarettes. If you smoke and you are on a date, one of the worst things you can do is bum cigarettes. It may make you look cheap and/or poor.
But now most people do not smoke, and it is greatly frowned upon. Most guys won't even go out with a woman who smokes, unless he smokes too. Smokers are almost treated like criminals, and the laws continue to get stricter every year. I am an ex-smoker myself, and if you are a smoker, I feel your pain. If you're are an ex-smoker, I feel your pain (I would love to be able to smoke again, but I can't.)
Don't wear clothes that don't fit properly.
I went on a first date with a guy that I really liked, but I wore very baggy pants, so that I would be comfortable. The advantages to this approach is if you never hear from the guy again, you can blame it on the baggy pants and not take any further responsibility, or blame for your failed 1st impression. But I would say it is probably not a good idea to wear clothes that are either too loose or too tight.
Don't tell too much on a first date.
Don't tell too much of your business, too soon, on your first date. One of the worst things you can do is talk about your personal problems, health problems, or money problems. If a man thinks that you have too many problems, he may be discouraged about dating you. Let yourself be a little mysterious. On a first date, you should play on his curiosity, and let him wonder about you. Let the details of your life slowly unfold before him. Everyone has baggage, but give your new man a chance to get to know all the great things about you, before you tell him about it.
Manners at the dinner table.
One of the worst things you can do is blow your nose at the dinner table. If you do that, you probably will not get a second date. Of course you also know to chew with your mouth closed. One time, I went on a date, and the guy took his bread,and wiped his plate clean with it, and ate the bread. His eating habits made him look like a glutton. The same guy kept asking me,” Do you want the crackers," about five times. He couldn't stand to let even one of those crackers sit there without someone eating them. It was obvious that he had a food addiction.
Don't brag about your possessions.
If you brag about your possessions, and home, then you may make the other person feel inferior, because they may not have as much as you do. I was emailing a guy back and forth from an internet dating service, and he insisted on sending me not only pictures of himself, and all the rooms in his home, but pictures of all his family members, and all of the rooms in all of their homes. He said that he was showing me all of that, so I would know why he would never want to move away from his family and his home. He wanted to make it clear to his perspective marriage partner that he would not move, and they would have to move to his location if there was a union.
The worst things that I felt he was communicating to me were:
1. He was telling me way too much before we even met.
2. He assumed that I would be impressed or interested in what his house and family looked like even before I met him, decided to date him, or had any feelings for him.
3. He was giving me the message that I would have to fit in with all these people, and we may not have much time alone together.
4. I took from the conversation that he thought his home was more important than mine,
5.I assumed that he thought that his family was more important to him, than my family was to me.
When talking about how great your family and friends are, don't over-do it.
It is better not to ramble on about how great your friends and family are, on the first date. If your date asks you questions about them, answer the questions, but be brief. When I was with one of my internet dates, the guy went on and on about his friend and his friend's woman. He told me how great they were, and that they spent a lot of time with him, Then he told me about his other friends that lent him money, helped him move, and would do just about anything for him.
All this talk made me feel like I wasn't just dating one person, and I felt like I had to fit into some sort of group. I was asking myself questions like, “What if his friends' don't like me?"and, "What if his friend, and his friend's woman don't like me?"
Don't talk about your ex.
Another one of the worst things you can do on a first date, is to talk about your ex. If you still love your ex, your date will sense it. If you hate your ex, you should not show your date to see that side of you. I have had dates that constantly complained about their ex‘s. I knew that some of my dates still loved their ex. But whether you love or hate your ex, there is no reason to put that much emotion into a severed relationship. If you can't get over it on your own, then go to a therapist. You have to stop letting you ex live rent free in your mind.
These are just some of the worst things you can do on a first date, and some of these things are not good to do on a second, third, or any date. I'm sure you have your own "do not do" list, yourself.