Sad Story of Sexual Abuse
However she had a really bad sexual experience at 12, when her 18 year-old brother grabbed her breasts, leered at her young body all the time
Sad Story of Sexual Abuse
When the girl in Pakistan was only 12, she was such a happy, jolly, cheerful girl who knew nothing of about adult things, making her very meek - like a lamb in some ways - and free from worries associated with gown-up considerations. As she grew and developed she learned more of sex and adult things, like many young girls fascinated by the whole sex question, and loving to flirt with boys she developed crushes on.
However she had a really bad sexual experience at 12, when her 18 year-old brother grabbed her breasts, leered at her young body all the time. Not only that but he actually forced her into sexual touching situations with him four times before the poor girl tearfully told her mother of this horror, who promptly put a stop to the young man's behaviour, though naturally too late.
The poor girl found out art this time that her father, like most Pakistani men, hated having an unwanted daughter, only wanting baby boys. This left her feeling useless and unwanted, but she had behaved herself before this bombshell dropped, after which she promised herself not to be good anymore and started to socialize with bad company in the shape of other girls and guys always talking about sex. A classmate told her that she should date one guy in particular.
She was 15 and went to his home, where they smooched very sensually and provocatively without actually having intercourse, after which the girl went home and wept about why she had behaved that way, deciding to curb such behaviour, but sexual desires woke up again within her and she was soon seducing her long distance cousin, then a guy in her class, but she was making a name for herself that certainly did not want or need at her age.
This unfortunate girl never made even one childhood friend, and she often cried bitter tears because she truly wanted at least one true one, but never managed it. She found her class-mates bitchy, mean and nasty because their encouragement was what led her to behave badly in the first place, as she sees it. These same peer people threatened to tell all to her mother, and her 21 year-old paternal uncle started to black mail her.
Telling her he knew her secrets, he promised he would help the girl if she would be nice to him, beginning to kiss not just her mouth but her whole body, grabbing her breast and forcing himself upon her. She cried a great deal, but her feelings of worthlessness got worse, because she was convinced her parents regarded her not as a blessing but a burden, being a girl, and she sought sexual solace in the incestuous arms of her brother - and sleeping with a long-distance cousin, despite not knowing him at all.
She let herself become the bad girl to the extent that even her mother was calling her a whore. Men all say that she is just bad without knowing her real story at all, and she believes that all that ever happens is that people take what they want from her then toss her to one side like so much garbage, enjoying the knowledge of how much they are hurting her. She has no love in her life, so spends all her time weeping and writing poetry that she posts on triond.
All this truly unfortunate girl ever wants is to be loved, but her heart is a dead thing, so her writing is
her way of spitting out the venom within her and getting relief, hoping one day to find love. Right now she mainly feels both numb and dumb, not enjoying her studies, or wanting to I go outside of her home to avoid having to converse with other people. She has always had too great a tendency to
trust every one, but having been hurt so often by those she trusted, she these days takes some perverse pleasure from the pain, which is no longer as bad as it once was.
Her truly awful luck continued in 2011, when she met a Pakistani guy online who was doing ACCA in Birmingham ,UK, to whom she made a full confession, and was amazed to hear that he was prepared to come over to marry her, take her back and make her happy. He promised not to let her cry alone and that they could chat all the time It turned out of course that his real interest was nothing more than sex-chat, which the girl eventually worked out for herself.
This poor girl says she has now had thousand of guys in her life - an exaggeration of course - who all seemed to loved her body but nothing more, nobody ever loving her for the person that she is. She went through that phase of loving parties, meeting new people, taking trips, and eating out a lot, but now she hates everything, even herself and her body, loving her heart and feeling so guilty for having broken it and destroyed all feelings.
She has a million reasons to cry, at one point suffering from dehydration problems because she left her meals and even avoided liquids, crying and sobbing, skipping meals and I getting sick, though happily she is now on the mend, slowly getting a little better. She was so depressed at one stage that she seriously considered suicide but, thankfully her religion forbids such actions. She has now embraced her god, whom she worships and prays to for forgiveness.
This talented girl young female poet and her sad story should not be any reason for her to be consigned to the rubbish heap of life just because she made mistakes. She deserves some happiness and to find one day that someone genuinely loves her for herself me and will marry her, giving her the secure future she surely deserves.