Reality Of Agape Love In Marriage IV: The Foolish Risk of Letting Third Parties In Our Marriages

Funom Makama By Funom Makama, 21st Feb 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/qsx4za8g/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

We are still talking about the practical reality of the Agape Love in Marriage and in the Biblical Love Psychology series (part IV in particular) which talks about working for Love to make it grow, we learnt, there are some certain things we need to do to preserve or strengthen the Soul-to-soul Union, this is one of it!

Introduction

Exposing family affairs to the society does not help at all, especially if there are problems in the family. This is because rumor-mongers are always on the look-out for individual domestic trials. Many marriages have broken up as a result of gossip. Each time a misunderstanding between a wife and a husband occurs, it is grossly exaggerated and sensationalized. And as you may know, wherever a third party is involved, things never sort out by themselves.

Sexual intercourse is to "Know"

There are certain healthiness in been open; but basic human nature is the same everywhere and so therefore, the standard still remains the same-both the husband and the wife need complete privacy in their sexual and domestic love. This is taught in the Bible. The songs of songs describes a relationship of husband and wife that is utterly private: "Promise me, women of Jerusalem; swear by the swift deer and the gazelles that you will not interrupt our love" (3:5). The idea is that in the family circle, there is a privacy into which no one else is to intrude at any time.

The Bible term for sexual intercourse is "to know". For example, we read that "Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived" (Genesis 4:1). Only a woman's husband is to "know" her. This means that husband and wife share together an intimacy of "knowing" each other that is not to be spread abroad to others. Neighborhoods sometimes become gossip centers where women openly discuss the secrets of their sexual relationships with their husbands. In this wordly way, every woman comes to "know" every other woman's husband. It is a verbal form of adultery. Peter mentions those who "count it pleasure to riot in the day time, having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin" (2 Peter 2:13, 14). There are ears full of it, too. Among the things which must not be once named among you, as become saints are filthiness, foolish talking, jesting (Ephesians 5:3, 4).

Your Sexual Lives should be Private

Husbands and wives, do not shame each other by telling others in your home towns about your faults and failings. You may say, I don't know how else to get him/her to change! But that is the "under the law" method, not "under grace." You don't try to shame someone whom you love; and shame is a very poor incentive for improvement. It produces bitterness and resentment. No one can do his or her best under such an atmosphere. If a husband knows that his wife is telling the neighbors or relatives about his faults, sexual or otherwise, he will feel bitter inside. Instead of wanting to come home at night, he will stop at the bar. And that's where all kinds of troubles begin!

This is not focused only in the negativity. Also in the positive aspect. Some men are found of praising the sexual abilities of their wives amongst their fellow friends or even colleagues when they come together. Well, you think you are doing a good thing and crowning your wife in front of your colleagues but that is also wrong. This may create jealousy and may worsen some relationship somewhere which is already becoming bad. One of your friends who is not too impressed with his wife may hear your 'gist' and take it home. And use it as a yardstick to complain to his wife and seriously, you do not know how that marriage may end up. Also, most people believe, men talk about the intimacy of a woman who happens to be too cheap for them or even a prostitute. Even on a normal dating relationship, if a man truly loves his girl, whatever intimate thing they share would be kept secret by him. Then how much more of a wife? Has she now become cheap?

Keep the gate tightly locked to that little inner circle of your husband-wife relationship. Let each of you have the firm confidence that one will never betray the other, as Judas betrayed Christ to His enemies. Healing can come if there is confidence.

If you enjoyed this, you can check out the previous three episodes of this series:
Is sex condemned in the Bible?
Love of One Man for One Woman
Equality in Marriage.

As for aspiring writers who want to write like me and even earn more than I do, you can register here.

Tags

Bitterness, Domestic Trials, Exaggeration, Family Affairs, Gossip, Improvement, Incentive, Interruption, Intrusion, Jealousy, Judas, Misunderstanding, Neighbors, Privacy, Prostitute, Relatives, Resentment, Rumor Mongers, Sensationalism, Sexual Intercourse

Meet the author

author avatar Funom Makama
A medical Practitioner and a passionate writer. A proud published Author of 2 books, more than 2,000 articles online and 100 Poems!
funommakama.org
drfunommakama.com

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Comments

author avatar Buzz
25th Feb 2012 (#)

Hot topic and pics. Yesss! Thanks, Doctor.:)

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author avatar pretty_writer
26th Feb 2012 (#)

Actually a foolish risk!

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author avatar Denise O
25th Feb 2012 (#)

I agree, it should be left up to you and your partner and not to a outsider on these issues. Nice read. Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Sheila Newton
25th Feb 2012 (#)

Where's your star, Funom??? You've been robbed!!! Loved this gorgeous piece of literature.

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author avatar Funom Makama
25th Feb 2012 (#)

thanks guys... My STAR is you guys appreciating the info!

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author avatar Lambasted
26th Feb 2012 (#)

so true!~~ And I totally agree with Sheila Newton. You were robbed by not giving you your deserved star... I guess, they think you have accumulated too much

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author avatar Funom Makama
26th Feb 2012 (#)

thanks Lambasted.

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author avatar Ivyevelyn, R.S.A.
26th Feb 2012 (#)

Thank you Funom. Very well-written and full of valuable information.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
26th Feb 2012 (#)

I once told my best friend that what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom and is not for open viewing. I don't discuss my bedroom antics with the whole world as that is my sacred union meant only between the two of us sharing it... It was because he wanted details of of my love life as I told him I had just one man in my entire life.... And it still stands at that as that is my choice to remain true to the man I married and I told my husband that just yesterday and he cried too as his straying and disrespect of his wife and child brought me to take the oath of celibacy coupled with accusations from my best friend which became a public drama as it led to deletion of my poetry on Triond and maligning my name with his wife including insulting my mother for something that never took place only to protect an affair he had with my husbands concubine.
I threw both the men out as I don't want any more of such nonsense....
None the less, no one has the right to my private bedroom life as that is not anyone's business but my own.... Would never tell it any way either even if cajoled under a drug induced state as I am answerable for my own actions and thats a deal with God and me.
Friends are just friends, and one love remains just one love for me and private....

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author avatar Funom Makama
26th Feb 2012 (#)

so, at least you agree with me on this one right? @ Lady Aiyanna.

Thank Goodness!

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author avatar Barine Nakwaasah
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

You are so good. Keep this up!

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author avatar Funom Makama
2nd Mar 2012 (#)

thanks and welcome to wikinut.

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author avatar Zach3000
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

A lot of good points here, especially about not publicly talking about bedroom matters, and not criticizing her publicly.

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author avatar Funom Makama
3rd Mar 2012 (#)

thanks Zach

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