Is Divorce a Good Idea?
Leading relationship expert advises on marriage and divorce
Although marriage has become less fashionable and there are more and more people choosing to live with their partner, see them regularly but live in different homes, or stay single, people still choose to get married and put their trust into another person. Why they choose to marry may seem puzzling to those who prefer the single life. Marriage is supposed to be till death do us part and every single person who chooses to get married does so for their own reasons. A third of marriages ends in divorce and at least half of those that remain end up unhappy and staying together for reasons other than love, meaning that most people who get married end up getting a divorce or considering it seriously at some stage.
When my clients consult me in my capacity as an life coach about such matters it is very important to know all of the facts before leaning towards a YES or a NO. You need to take into account the person's personality, background, finances, family situation, work and many other things because what is right for one person may be totally wrong for another. Even if they got married for love originally the situation is more complex than that, you cannot say well if you love someone be with them and if you do not leave, because there are lots of variables that need to be considered and this is why they are seeking out professional advice. There are a lot of cases where the person does not love their partner and stays and there are just as many where the partner loves their partner but leaves, usually because of the partner's unreasonable or selfish behaviour. Therefore, accepting their apology and saying you will stay with them and let them start again is not necessarily wise, as the odds are they will repeat that same behaviour over and over again, showing no respect for how you feel.
Some stay together for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with love, it could be money, religion, health, children and many other issues that keep a couple together.
But usually then one gets far more out of it than the other. For example, a man may wish to stay with his wife so that he can keep his job, and he would be happy to pretend they are a proper couple, but it is all for his benefit because he is the one who wishes to keep that job. Celebrities, politicians and other people in high profile situations often have to appear to be squeeky clean to please the public.
I am Charlotte Craig, President of The Association of Agony Aunts, and have worked as a relationship expert for over thirty years. You can get a lot more advice at my site, free, http://www.askagonyaunt.com.