How to instil discipline in your children
By RaydaJ, 22nd Feb 2012 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutFamilyParenting
How to discipline a child or a toddler and to avoid mistakes parents often make
Correcting behavior
There is no set time for disciplining a child and some children are so well-behaved that they hardly get disciplined. Really, though, discipline starts when the child acts out of the norm, throws a tantrum, shouts back at you, and you have to take control or the child will think that he can manipulate you for whatever he wants. There is a difference between that kind of discipline and discipline where you just correct behaviour by ‘showing’ and no harsh tone need be employed. Still, children know instinctively that there are rules and know when they are being chastised.
A child's retreat
A child know when he has misbehaved, even as a two-year-old, and is old enough when his parent calls a time-out because he is shouting at the top of his lungs or throwing his things around. A time-out is a gentle way to calm down a recalcitrant toddler. He understands what is happening, and in time settles down in his room. His room is his sanctuary and it is a place where he can retreat to. This is his space. It is where he has his bath and is being changed. He also learns independence right from the start.
Mistakes parents often make discipling a toddler
1 A child sleeping in his own crib learns independence from the start. Sleeping with his parents will create problems later on when he can’t fall asleep without his mother or father in bed, or without the light on, or he is scared of ghosts. It leads to co-dependency. However, this does not mean that there are not special occasions to crowd into your parents’ bed. Bonding is important and should be exercised on a regular basis.
2 Do not change the rules once you have made them. If you call a time-out, don’t give in to his charm or screaming to let him sit with the other children in front of the television.
3 If he does not listen to you, take him physically to his room. If he comes out, put him back. Just because he is screaming and throwing a tantrum does not mean you must give in. Toddlers can be manipulative.
4 Don’t shout and scream yourself. They turn on the tears or suddenly become charming to get what they want. Speak nicely and let the child know who is in charge.
5 Do not bribe a child; he will hold you hostage. If you resort to bribery he will know that you are not a person with conviction and will sense that you are weak. Be loving and caring, but show him who is the boss.
Discipline with love
Once your infant has been fed and changed, put him back in the crib. He will soon fall asleep. Remember, teaching him right at the beginning of his life how to behave will go a long way towards his future. Play with your child; it is very important. Read to your child. Have a story hour before he goes to bed. Then put him in his room.
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Comments
22nd Feb 2012 (#)
I believe in being the example to the child and showing them who I really am with my own lifestyle.
I make minimal rules for my son and yes timeout is one of them but if he makes a mistake, I ask him what did he learn from it and that is enough for him not to do it ever again.
With my toddler, if he created a tantrum, I put him in the corner turned him to face the wall and he was quiet in minutes. My boy has the love but when it comes to discipline he has that too.
This is from experience as not just as a parent but as a montesorri teacher (yes I am trained there too).
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23rd Feb 2012 (#)
Very good Johnny...thanks
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23rd Feb 2012 (#)
Some good tips. My kids have not been this age for a little over a few decades but, I know have a 21 month old grandson. Oh how the memories come back.LOL
As I did with my kids I shall wit my grandson, with very few exceptions. Tristan and the other grands to follow will be loved, spoiled at times and yet be held accountable for their actions, it be good or bad. Always in a loving non-violent way, 'I' include spanking in this. Nice one. Thank you for sharing.:)
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23rd Feb 2012 (#)
Thank you for that nice piece, especially the spanking. We have a joke here in S.A. about spanky spanky. I never hit my kids.
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