Different reasons bring couples to divorce and since divorce has been widely accepted, small things that could otherwise be tolerated make partners think of divorce.
Various factors can bind married and cohabitating couples together: economic interdependence, legal, social and moral constraints and the spouses’ relationship itself. Yet the binding strength of some of these factors has lessened and affected the strength of couples’ relationships.
Relationships start with the phases of attraction, development and sometimes dissolution. All relationships are subject to these stages but dissolution of casual relationships is less traumatic than in intimate or personal relationships.
When physical violence is involved in a relationship, stability is threatened and most couples know the reality of this fact although some of them endure the violence. Many people wonder why a woman would stay with a man who constantly physically abuses her but trust me, a lot of women persevere this in the name of upholding a certain social status of being called the wife of so and so. Many abusive men will work hard to make sure that they isolate their wives from families and friends depriving them of any social support and alternative residences.
Mostly, this kind of a relationship will come to an end and the couple has to make a decision to dissolve their marriage. When a close relationship fails, it poses problems for both people involved as well as for their social network of friends and family who have to make adjustments in their relationship with the now separated couple. Relationships, like cohabitation which don’t have social support are more prone to break up than people in marriage. Although we look at it this way, we cannot say that institutional support for marriage is a guarantee for it’s survive. Divorce has dramatically increased in recent years than it used to be. This shows that many marriages are being dissolved more than before. When couples are dating, they have unrealistic expectations of a marriage and this leads to conflicts not long after they get married. How they agree to solve these conflicts determine how their relationship will go forward.
Studies show that after the divorce, both partners give different stories of why their relationship could not work. Most divorced people keep their ideas of marriage and what they believe it should be. There are gender variations on how each describes the cause of divorce. Both men and women tend to say that their marriage lacked emotional intimacy but both attributed the failures to different reasons. Women will normally say that their husbands did not talk or share their feelings with them as they expected. They also claim that their husbands just didn’t communicate with them. Divorced men will agree with the aspect that they failed to communicate with their former wives. They also maintain that they found it difficult to talk about their feelings and sharing important elements of their work. They say their wives failed to support them emotionally which they term as lack of physical affection.
There are other reasons that bring couples to divorce. Extra marital affairs, alcoholism and physical abuse are among many reasons for divorce. Failure to meet each other’s expectations, lack of shared interests and failing to balance work and family have become the most common motives for divorce. Because divorce has become widely accepted, little issues that could otherwise be tolerated give couples a reason to consider divorce. In a relationship, the woman is the one who is more vigilant in monitoring how the relationship goes and as a result of this, they know when something is not going right and they mostly are the ones to initiate a divorce in a heterosexual relationship.
Men and women experience different lives after the marriage is over. The dissolution of the relationship is usually financially and emotionally difficult. Women’s lower earning power and the custody of children normally bring more hardships to the woman than the man. Men’s financial status may improve after divorce. Women’s increasing earning power has moderated the financial impact on divorce more than it did in the past. Both men and women try to find positive and negative consequences of the divorce with both saying that they enjoy the freedom that comes with it. Women report feeling free from their husbands dominance and they experience the feelings of being competent by doing those things that their husbands used to do. Men are more likely to lose in a divorce because they lose the emotional support they were used to, the network of their friends and the infrequency of being with their children. Women are more likely to use social networks in the healing process while the man doesn’t.
All said and done, both men and women are likely to feel displeased with their ex partner than the marriage itself and that is why many divorced people remarry because as far as they are concerned it was their spouse who was at fault and not the marriage.
In summary, we can see that any kind of violence decreases the stability of a relationship but not necessarily end them. Mostly divorce will occur when there in lack of shared interests and incompatibilities in a relationship.