Anger Is More Useful Than Despair
Whoever came up with this phrase must have been a genius. A very close friend of mine had an experience that proves this idea is true. Well, in her case, that is.
- Her relationship was far from being perfect but she was happy
- Enduring the pain
- Moving on only to be hurt anew
- The revenge
Her relationship was far from being perfect but she was happy
She fell in love and had relationship with someone when she was 21. It lasted a pretty long 4 years and she can say that despite some things that she had to sacrifice just to be with the man (which by the way had some setbacks in her career now), it was one of the happier days of her life. Eventually she broke up with him because she got tired. It's getting nowhere and she felt her existence in her bf's life no longer mattered. He said she was the most important person in his life but she no longer saw that she was effective at influencing him in a positive way. That she serves as an inspiration to him to strive harder in life. She was kind of annoyed knowing that she had to sacrifice so much of her dreams, for him not to aspire for a better life for them.
Enduring the pain
Living the days without him has been like hell for her. It was like she'd wanted to crawl on her knees and tell him she was wrong and make it up to him. But she didn't because pride had gotten the best of her judgment. And she had to endure darker days of her life living in pain to the point she wanted to die.
It took her almost 3 years to get over the pain. Surely she had a couple of flings and tons of failures in between those years. She found it so hard to be effective in anything she does because something deep inside is hurting but she could not do anything about it. It was as if she was helpless. It was really that hard because she was still in love with the person. What's odd is that none of her family members knew about it so they could not even decipher what she was going through. All they knew is that, she has created a monster out of herself. She could not muster enough strength to go on with her life because it's as if she lost all possible motivation a human being could have.
Moving on only to be hurt anew
As a cliche would tell, time heals all wounds. Finally she has come to her senses. After 3 years of battling depression, she has opened up to the world and tried to revive her old self. Tried going out with someone and eventually fell in love again. Little did she know that this man would be breaking her heart soon enough. He cheated on her but wouldn't admit up to this day. The day she found out that he's seeing someone else too tore her world apart instantly. The other girl was furious as well when she found out about her. And her then bf got the nerve to call it quits because things were getting out of hand. He's breaking up with her, for crying out loud! She was fuming mad she could have killed him with her bare hands. But being a woman who would not take rejection as simple as that because the decision should have come from her being the aggrieved party. She kept her cool and had to persuade him into trying to work things out, which he readily agreed to. Little did he know that she was planning to exact revenge.
They went back to their normal relationship, well at least it was for him. She made him believe that everything that has happened was all water under the bridge. He fell into her trap. She could never be any happier and motivated to accomplish everything. She didn't succumb to loneliness and depression unlike the first relationship. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". When she felt that he fell in love for her all over again, she thought it was the right time to execute her plan.
She broke up with him during a petty quarrel. They didn't talk to each other for 2 weeks. Then she received an email from him saying that he wants them to patch things up. She did not reply. He called her up a few times after that. Still she ignored him. "It's working" she told herself. Then one day she has decided to meet him to test the effectiveness of her show. And wola! He almost kneeled to her to give him another chance. She gave him one last but it was never the same. But the good thing is that, she had the last laugh.
It's not that I am saying it's good to hold grudges against another person because it's not. My point here is that if you're given choices in your life, you always have to choose the lesser evil. Something you can benefit from. What she did might not have been the nicest thing in the world to do. But by doing so, she spared herself from being miserable that led her to being productive instead of sulking to her heart's content.