Am I your daughter?
Babies and kids are treasures for me. I feel comfortable with them and they don't annoy me at all. This is a story of an adopted kid (cousin). She found out that she's adopted in an early age. I felt very proud for her.
- Adopted Baby
- Why Do I Look Different?
- Who's my Real Mother?
- The Revelation
- The Confrontation
- The Best Way
I was 11 years when I first saw my new baby cousin. She was 3 months that time. She was very fragile to hold. She's got white complexion and lovely curly hair. She's got big eyes that look like doll's eyes. She was a precious thing. But she was an adopted.
"What's adopted mother?" I still remember myself asking my mother those words. And I saw my Aunt's eyes at me. I thought I said a bad word but she just smiled. " She's not my child. Her mother let me adopt her because she can't take care of her. Isn't she lovely?" My Auntie cuddled the child like her own. She had 2 children and they were already grown up. So she missed the presence of a baby.
During that time, I felt like the adopted baby was my cousin for real. Though she has different color of skin with my Auntie, she became a part of the family. (Well color is not the bases to be part of the family.)
Why Do I Look Different?
Years have passed and the baby had grown up. She learned to crawl then to walk then to talk. She learned to say "Mama" and "Papa" and she then called me "Ate".
After few years, she turned to a very lovely child. She started to face the mirror and see herself different from the people around her, different from us.
She started to ask, "Why do I look different?" That time, It was very difficult to hide the truth. The truth had to be revealed.
Who's my Real Mother?
What would you do if you're the foster mother? Would you tell the truth to the child or let the child find out the truth herself?
Well, It,s a very difficult decision but the truth has to set free. You can never hide the truth to somebody.
So, my Auntie told the child the truth. She did it in a calm manner. Though she was aching deep inside, she had to tell her the truth, " I'm still your mother no matter what you 'll hear tonight." She said those with sincerity. She tried to be strong after she uttered the words she kept as a secret for a long time. " You are an adopted child. You are not my daughter in blood. But listen to me, I am still your mother and will always be." A tear rolled down my Auntie's cheek and embraced the child. " I Love you like my own daughter. That will never change." she whispered.
"Where's my true mother?" The child asked.
"She's ..." my Auntie couldn't finish the phrase. She never expected the question.
" She's..." My Auntie paused for a while and stared at the child's innocent eyes. " I want to see her." The child said coldly. She was too innocent to find out out about the truth.
But there are times when you have to choose between two difficult things. We can't keep smokes forever. Truth can't be kept forever.
"She's outside the country. She's too busy to come here." She said it with utmost sincerity.
The two just sat on the couch while I was there watching them. They looked like real mother and daughter. The sight of them puts a tear in my eyes.
How could a perfect relationship end up like this? I thought to myself.
5 years has passed since my cousin found out about the truth that she's adopted. But, as far as the relationship is concern, everything has been going well between the two of them. My cousin saw her real mother and she had talked to her. Well, she accepted her for who she was and so thus her real mother. But, my cousin stayed with my aunt. She felt more connected with her. And as days and years have passed, their bond grew stronger and stronger. Now that she's twelve, she completely understands her situation. She's an adopted but it doesn't mean she's abandoned. She found love with another mother but she never forgets her real mother.
She's at home wherever she feels home.
The Best Way
Well I guess It's better to tell the kid that he or she is an adopted. But in line with that, we should also give them the proper love and attention they need. They might not understand it at first, but later on everything will just go smooth to them.
Adopted is just a term. It doesn't differentiate a kid to other kids. They are still sons and daughters of their parents no matter who their parents are.